How We Do It

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday January 14, 2011

2012-01-25T23:24:00.000-08:00

LOS ANGELES AREA DISTRICT 1

Thank you everyone for such a great meeting. It was awesome to see so many people, what a way to start 2012! All members of CMA are welcome.

World Conference: March 1st – 4th 2012 in Atlanta. Registration for the event is $130 – you can now register at: http://cmaconf2012.eventbrite.com/

*** Meeting closures will now be listed on the front page of our website: www/cmainla.com

*** OUR FIRST EVENT OF THE YEAR: STAY OUT OF THE GUTTER – 1/31/12 8-10PM at Cal Bowl, 2500 E. Carson Blvd., Lakewood $15 includes shoes and 2 games
There is going to be a 50/50 raffel

*** California Area Assembly is January 28th at Plummer Park / then the pre-world conference, conference will follow this assembly.

*** Info and Outreach having a committee meeting January 22nd at 2pm – Big Momma’s and Pappa’s 7353 Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles – this committee is really growing and needs support to continue our mission of bring the message to the addict that is still suffering in and out of the rooms.

***Help Line Training – February 18th 2pm at Dale G’s House, I will get his address and forward it to everyone.

***Our June District Meeting will be in Long Beach – let’s spread the word!

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday February 11, 2012
10:00 AM Plummer Park Weho.

I Belong Here

2012-01-24T12:33:00.000-08:00

I first walked into my first CMA meeting in 2005 – fresh out of rehab and not a clue about working the 12 steps. I was scared. What got me into rehab was secretly using Crystal, going on line and having sex with men. I am a straight man. I ended up very sick because I did things with the way I used and my behavior, that sober, I would not do.

I had hoped in my first year after spending much time relapsing, sitting in the rooms of AA and therapy that my sexual orientation was my problem. I hoped in many ways it would be revealed that in fact I was really gay and that’s why I used and had sex with men (MSM). I also thought if that was the answer I could skip the whole 12-step thing and continue to occasionally use and go online and have proper sex with men. It was clear to me that the issue was not my behavior; it was being a Crystal Meth addict and now HIV positive. I did not feel comfortable sharing these aspects of my addiction in AA, and it didn’t seem appropriate in any case. But when I walked into a CMA meeting, even though there was other HIV-positive men to identify with, I only saw all the differences. Truth be told I was not ready to hear the message or share my story.

So off I went to the rooms of AA and put almost two years together, only to find myself once again, dying inside and fat. My solution was to use and go right back to the same behavior. I was able to keep my job but struggled to keep my sanity. I argued with my sponsor that I could not go into rehab because of the responsibilities I had to support my daughter. It was this kind of distorted thinking that somehow I could manage my using and its consequences in my life; I began to realize something was not right. Then it was the call from one of my employees, wondering why had I not shown up for work and had not called. The call woke me up in more ways then one, it scared me enough to get into an outpatient program.

That was 2007 I was able to stay sober for 3 years and 11 months but I once again found myself alone, afraid, angry, resentful at AA and determined to stop my pain; so I went out for what would be another four months. Unwilling to return to the rooms of AA I found my way to a CMA meeting, Monday evening NCJW. I was almost 24 hours away from my last use, but far from sober. I folded my arms, kept my mouth shut and did not identify. I once again looked at the differences and had trust issues with people and especially gay men. But I heard something, a little something, I heard recovery, unity and service.   I was scared and hoping that I could find at least one straight person, but I showed up at another meeting and I heard parts of my story and realized the people in the room often used how I used. The other thing that happened was that I finally understood the phenomena of craving. I never got it in AA. But I understood that once I used Crystal, all bets were off.

I experimented many times and recycled many a newcomer chip in the process.   Same result, it ended with me wanting to stop but couldn’t. I had to take that first step --admitting powerlessness and unmanageability.

I know that I could at any moment go out and use again. I have to constantly remind myself about the easy access to drugs and the pain and struggle to walk back into the rooms of recovery. My choices of having any peace vanish and I become an obsessive slave to the computer and the need to use.   I end up alone, afraid and deeply depressed.

Early sobriety can be hard and my disease fights like a MF’er as I get some time away from Crystal. It tells me I can do it just one more time, you won’t stroke out, you won’t have a heart attack, you won’t die. But in the short time of my current sobriety, I have heard of one death from an OD, a heart attack and a brain aneurysm, all involving people younger then me. Yet my thinking would have me using, I have to move my feet and keep sharing and being vulnerable, I have to set aside the fact I want to say I don’t belong because… x,y,z [blah, blah, blah.)

I am a Crystal Meth addict and the solution is in the meetings, in the steps and in the shared experiences of those who have found a common solution.    I have chosen to recover from a hopeless state of mind and body. I belong here.

RBH

Bowling!

2012-01-04T10:58:00.000-08:00

District Meeting December 11

2011-12-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all that attended the meeting, again, I can’t say thank you enough to all the GSR’s and Committees for all their hard work. All members of CMA are welcome.

World Conference: March 1st – 4th 2012 in Atlanta. Registration for the event is $130 – you can now register at https://cmaconf2012.eventbrite.com/?nomo=1

**The Evolution of Addiction Treatment Conference in Los Angeles was a great success – CMA was very well received. Thank you to everyone who was of service.

**H&I will be starting their Monthly Meeting at 11:30am starting in January 2012

** We now have 25 panels, with the possibabiltie of 3 more in the near future, H&I I
is always looking for speakers, please refer them to the website to contact H&I

** We have 50 copies of Crystal Clear, they are $14

**We will be hosting a bowling event in the Long Beach are in January

**June 2012 District Meeting to be held in Long Beach

Happy Birthday to all those who had birthdays (Misplaced the list – sorry)
Being of service, Mark

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday January 14, 2012
10:00 AM Plummer Park Weho.

Weekend December 10-12

2011-12-03T06:09:00.001-08:00

We need everyones help, next week Public Info and Outreach along with H&I will be attending the Proffessional in Addiction conference - we need people to work shifts at our table. Please, reach out to the fellowship and ask them to contact Joey at (323)200-4268.

Mark M.

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday November 12, 2011

2011-11-15T11:28:00.001-08:00

Thanks to all that attended the meeting, again, I can’t say thank you enough to all the GSR’s and Committees for all their hard work. All members of CMA are welcome.

Happy Birthday to Doug for 3 years, Annette for 3 years and Sal for 4 years

World Conference: March 1st – 4th 2012 in Atlanta.
Registration for the event is $130 – more details to follow. Issues to be discussed at conference need to be e-mailed to Freddy D by 12/1/11 at freddy.d@cmagos.net

BIG EVENT FOR DECEMBER:
The Evolution of Addiction Treatment Conference in Los Angeles from December 8-11-2011 – P&I and H&I will be representing us, Contact Joey C to volunteer: joeycozz05@gmail.com or through our website at www.cmainla.com this event is for professionals in the addiction and recovery industry.

** The end of the year is fast approaching, new Secretaries and treasures will be
    Elected shortly or already have been elected, please get them to register
    on the website and talk to them about how to make donations to the three
    Service structure levels (World, Area, District).

** We now have 25 panels, with the possibility of 3 more in the near future, H&I
    is always looking for speakers, please refer them to the website to contact H&I

** We have 50 copies of Crystal Clear, they are $14

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday December 10, 2011

10:00 AM Plummer Park Weho.

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday Oct 12, 2011

2011-10-20T10:34:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting. All members of CMA are welcome. I especially want to welcome the new GSR’s Jerry & Terrence that attended. Thanks for being of service and joining us.

Happy Birthday to Bob S. for 4 years and Dale G. for 8 years.
Being of service, Mark

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on October 23, 2011 9am – 12pm in San Diego.

Costume Bowling Party and Fund Raiser – Shatto Lanes 10/27/11 7pm-10p $20 - Bring your Costume and have some fun – costume contest and 50/50 Raffle

Public outreach and information: is meeting at Roger D’s place at 929 San Vicente Blvd., #6, West Hollywood, CA 90036 (310) 867-1935 on the 26th of October.

Helpline: is meeting at Roger D’s place at 929 San Vicente Blvd., #6, West Hollywood, CA 90036 (310) 867-1935 on the 26th of October .

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit a piece on how you find solution in sobriety, please write to editorcmainla@gmail.com.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The winter 2011 revised directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Bob S. & Robert G. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Panel leaders need to speak on a minimum of 6 panels before becoming a leader. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on November 12, 2011 at 11am for sign up and noon for the business meeting at the Plummer Park, Weho.

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach; please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

* All committees are in need of volunteers.
Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday November 12, 2011
10:00 AM Plummer Park Weho

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday 12, 2011

2011-10-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Bob S. for 4years and Dale G. for 8 years.

Being of service,Mark

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on October 23,2011 9am – 12pm in San Diego.

Costume Bowling Party and Fund Raiser – ShattoLanes 10/27/11 7pm-10p $20 - Bring your Costume and have some fun – costumecontest and 50/50 Raffle

Public outreach and information: is meeting at Roger D’s place at 929 San Vicente Blvd., #6, West Hollywood, CA 90036 (310) 867-1935 on the 26^thof October.

Helpline: is meeting at Roger D’s place at 929 San Vicente Blvd., #6, West Hollywood, CA 90036 (310) 867-1935 on the 26^thof October .

The Blog: Mark O.- If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please write to editorcmainla@gmail.com

Registration/Directory:Gregorio V. - The winter 2011 revised directory is available. Fresh copies canbe picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready foryou at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You canalso go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Bob S. & Robert G. – We are looking for speakers to visitrecovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panelleaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Panelleaders need to speak on a minimum of 6 panels before becoming a leader. Inviteyour sponsees to join as well. To sign up, pleaseattend the next meeting ofH&I on November 12, 2011 at 11am for sign up and noon for the businessmeeting at the Plummer Park, Weho.

H&ILong Beach:Mike M. – If you want to get involved in thegrowing H&I panels in Long Beach;please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

* All committees are in need ofvolunteers.

Volunteeringis a great way to be of service andto give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees,go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you wouldlike to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

A copyof this report can be found on cmainla.blogspot.com

The next GSR meeting is onSaturday November 12, 2011

10:00 AM Plummer ParkWeho.

Halloween Fun

2011-10-08T22:33:00.001-07:00

GSR Minutes, Sept 10, 2011

2011-09-14T16:13:00.000-07:00

CALIFORNIA AREA DISTRICT 1
Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday September 10, 2011

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting! All members of CMA are welcome.

We had a great meeting, and I am grateful to you all.
Being of service, Tim

* All committees are in need of volunteers:
This was one of our main topics, and if order for us to continue our growth and reach the addict that is still suffering, we need to grow our committees. It doesn’t require tons of time, it can be as much time as they want, it does not require they come to our meeting every month, they just need to speak with there GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee they are interested in being a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery, one addict helping another, one day at a time.

* Register your meetings:
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.

* Events:
September 18th H&I Appreciation Pot Luck at Hollywood and Highland 3-5pm – all are welcome – this is going to be a great event – we need to really get the word out.

* VERY IMPORTANT
FRIDAY NIGHT 8PM MEETING AT COVENANT HOUSE HAS MOVED TO THE VILLAGE -SAME TIME – THE ADDRESS IS: 1125 N. McCADDEN PLACE, LOS ANGELES 90038
:
Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. Nwcomer packets ($1.00 each) are in stock and include the new pamphlets “The Sober Tool Kit” and “What About God.” The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope will be available at next months meeting. The 2011 little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, the address is cmainla.blogspot.com and you can write to Mark at editor@cmainla.com

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The Summer 2011 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday October 8, 2011 At 10am Plummer Park, West Hollywood 90046

Potluck Appreciation

2011-09-13T08:14:00.001-07:00

H&I Appreciation PotluckSunday, September 18 · 3:00pm - 5:00pmHollywood United Methodist Church6817 Franklin Ave (Corner of Franklin & Highland)Hollywood, CA The potluck appreciation dinner allows us to show our appreciation for all those who have participated on panels over the last year as well as build excitement for those potential panel leaders and speakers interested in doing service. People will bring food dishes and we will have three 15 minute speakers. Please tell all your friends in the fellowship that if they want to be of service, this is a fantastic and fun way to lea...rn about H&I and carrying the message of CMA. If you have sponsees, encourage them to come and be a part of this wonderful event. If you have been around awhile, come and hear some refreshing stories of service. Speakers will share their amazing experience with Hospitals & Institutions!Bring your favorite dish or... (Last name starting with...)A-I Bring something SWEETJ-S Bring something SALTYT-Z Bring BeveragesThere will be a 50/50 raffle!Plenty of free parking!Directions:DRIVING: Exit Highland off the US 101, head South, turn right on Franklin.METRO: Red Line, Hollywood and Highland Metro Station.

REPOST - What do about being nervous to go to a Pool Party

2011-09-05T08:50:00.001-07:00

What to Do About SPPIS
The symptoms of SPPIS (Sober Pool Party Inadequacy Syndrome) are easily visible. Someone sits apart from the crowd, often with his shirt on in the hot sun, with an anxious look on his face. He is busy listening to an endless negative loop in his head. His perception is that “all these gorgeous men” are having a wonderful time, and secretly sneering at his extra (or missing) 5 or 10 or more pounds. Even though it’s a benefit, he imagines they’re wondering what he’s doing at their party. He thinks he’s the only one going through this, the only one who feels lonely and miserable. He selectively remembers those times, probably early in his using days, when he would have a “good time” at parties. He wonders if he’ll ever have “good time” again.

If this describes your experience, I’m here to tell you are perfectly normal. In fact, I’ve never known someone in early sobriety for whom this is not the experience at most sober gatherings, much less those that advertise your gym attendance or lack thereof. These are exactly the kinds of uncomfortable feelings we ALL medicated over when in our addiction. Notice how 95% of the attendees at a circuit party are on something? Even the beauty-blessed musclegods are battling an inner monologue of self-doubt and insecurity. That’s why they usually end up getting so high that all they can do most of the night is huddle on the dance floor with the friends they came with.

Men are eroticized by visual stimuli. Gay men, straight men, all men. It’s why you’ll see the Bob Newharts with the Suzanne Pleshettes of the world, but never the reverse. It’s why men watch porn but women rarely do. As gay men, these male tendencies are squared. The result is that we tend to confuse desirability with happiness. We imagine if we “looked like that” we would be in a state of constant bliss. And yet some of the most insecure men I’ve ever met are considered some of the hottest porn stars. Some of them were even at the very pool party you were so unhappy at, and I guarantee you they were intimately familiar with exactly the same feelings you were battling.

So you have a few choices: 1) you can use again, feel very temporary relief, and then go right back to that despairing place you were before you got sober in the first place; 2) stay sober and avoid all social events in which you might feel intimidated; or 3) keep showing up, and be willing to do things differently.

But how? Try this. Before you get out of the car, ask yourself some questions. What if I set aside my fear? What if I decided my low-self esteem was a character defect, and something I could let go of? What if I replaced obsessing about my misery with a decision to talk to someone who was sitting alone, someone who might be even more scared, lonely or self-conscious than I am? What if I imitated the other guys who are taking pictures, serving burgers, or squirting water? What if I decided to pretend to have a good time, just to see if I actually did?

I promise you, if you do all of these things, you will NOT be magically free of your insecurities. You will still probably unfavorably compare yourself to the men you find terribly attractive. But the volume WILL go down enough on that negative self-chatter that you might actually enjoy yourself. This may mean defining that experience differently than how you imagine it now. Dancing, flirting, or getting validation may be small part of it, or no part of it at all. “A good time” may be just about giggling with a friend, cleaning off the picnic table or just talking to someone who needs to talk. (I have rarely introduced myself to anyone at one of these pool parties and gotten anything but a big smile, usually accompanied by an expression of tremendous relief that someone is talking to him.)

It’s absolutely amazing what happens when you are willing to entertain the notion that your feelings may not be the most important thing in the world. In fact, when you put love and service first, you will find that your feelings have the magical way of taking care of themselves.

M.O.

August 13 GSR Meeting Minutes

2011-08-16T13:01:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting and welcome to our new GSR member, John H. All members of CMA are welcome.

* All committees are in need of volunteers:
This was one of our main topics, and if order for us to continue our growth and reach the addict that is still suffering, we need to grow our committees. It doesn’t require tons of time, it can be as much time as they want, it does not require they come to our meeting every month, they just need to speak with there GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee they are interested in being a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery, one addict helping another, one day at a time.

* Register your meetings:
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.

* Events:
We have a number of fun events planned:
August 21st 12-4 pool party and H&I fundraiser, food and raffle prizes – flyers are being handed out.

September 7th Skate Night in Glendale, more information to come

September 18th H&I Apparition Pot Luck, more information to come

October – Costume bowling, more information to come

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. Nwcomer packets ($1.00 each) are in stock and include the new pamphlets “The Sober Tool Kit” and “What About God.” The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope will be available at next months meeting. The 2011 little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on August 20th, 2011 in San Louis Obispo @ 1:00 pm.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please write to editorcmainla@gmail.com.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The Summer 2011 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday September 10, 2011 At 10am Plummer Park, West Hollywood 90046

Happy Birthday to Kevin for 6 years of recovery!
We had a great meeting, and I am grateful to you all.
Being of service, Mark

Upcoming Benefit

2011-08-14T14:24:00.000-07:00

Come on down! One of the raffle prizes is a berth on a Sober Cruise!

Click to enlarge, but it's hard to read.
It's Sunday August 21st, from 12-4 at the Hollyood Towers - The new east building.
6138 Franklin Ave.
LA 90028
(at Gower)
$10 donation
To benefit H&I

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday July 9, 2011

2011-07-11T16:19:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting and welcome to the new GSR’s. All members of CMA are welcome.
Happy Birthday to Tim P on celebrating 3 years clean and sober.
A special thanks to all members that served on the district and committee chairs for the last two years. It has been a great honor to serve as your chairman but in the spirit of rotation my term is up.
We have a fantastic new board that will be serving the L.A. district 2011 – 2013. Our new chairman is Mark M. And our new co- chair is Tim P.
Secretary – Sal I, Treasurer – Jeff o, Events – Gina B, P&I – Joey C, and I will serve on the advisee committee along with Dale G.
Being of service, Freddie

* All committees are in need of volunteers:
Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in being of service and joining one of our committees, speak with your GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery. One addict helping another one day at a time.
* Register your meetings:
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.
* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday:
Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
No Tweak Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
Cheers CMA 6:00 pm @ 5934 Temple City Boulevard, Temple City
Monday:
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Boulevard, Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Avenue, Los Angeles. This meeting has a high volume of newcomers and can use the support of people with sobriety time.
Tuesday:
Spinning into the Solution 7:00 pm @ 1919 Beachwood Avenue, Los Angeles
Wednesday:
We are not alone 7:00 pm @ 935 East Broadway Avenue, Long Beach
Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ 626 N. Robertson Boulevard, West Hollywood
Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard, Los Angeles
Thursday:
Joyous, Grateful, & Free 7:00 pm @ 9436 Slauson Avenue, Pico Rivera
Daily Reprieve 7:00 pm @ 905 Atlantic Avenue, Long Beach
Friday:
Up the Stairs @ 7:00 pm @ 5450 East Atherton Street, Long Beach
Saturday:
Crystal Clear @ 2:30 pm 626 North Robertson Boulevard, West Hollywood
Stayin’ Alive @ 7:00 pm 4953 Franklin Avenue, Los Angeles
Coffey Talk @ 8:15 pm 1296 North Fairfax Avenue, West Hollywood

World Conference Report:
The next world conference will be in Atlanta Georgia March 2012.
Los Angeles submitted a bid for the 2014 world conference. Details TBA.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The return of the newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are in stock and include the new pamphlets “The Sober Tool Kit” and “What About God.” The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope is now available at the GSR meeting for $12.00. If we are sold out, you can order copies. The 2011 little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on August 20th, 2011 in San Louis Obispo @ 1:30 pm San Louis Obispo Alano Club 1814 Osos Street. A new board will be elected at this meeting.

Public outreach, information (P&I): Please join Joey C and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Roger D and take a helpline shift. It is a great way to help guide newcomers to meetings.

The next combined committee meeting for the helpline and P&I TBA.
Events planning: Join Gina B and the team for upcoming events!
Upcoming events include an H&I Pool Party on August 21st, & a Roller Skating Night TBA.
The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, write to editorcmainla@gmail.com.

Coffey Talk Moves

2011-07-04T12:22:00.001-07:00

Coffey Talk meeting has move to Fountain and Fairfax. 1296 N Fairfax Ave, West Hollywood 90046. The Church is at S.E. Corner of Fountain. The meeting takes place at 8:15 PM on Saturday night and it will be held in the downstairs room. There is street parking and a public parking lot on Orange Grove. This meeting needs support.

Freddie G

Stepping Through Stepwork

2011-07-01T09:16:00.001-07:00

Roughly halfway through my first experience working the steps, I wanted to write down a few things that have helped me get into and on with it. I'm on step 6, trying to become willing to relinquish character defects. I may not have much more time left to indulge one of them: giving unsolicited advice, which follows.

WORK THEM. If nothing else, you can feel superior to everyone who hasn't … at least until you get around to giving up those character defects.

DON'T GET HUNG UP ON GOD. Whether you come into the program as an atheist, an agnostic, or trying to reconcile the God you grew up with a God that will help you stay clean, open-mindedness works for everybody. Twelve-step programs stipulate only a single attribute for a higher power: loving. In my own confusion and recurring doubt, I've found it helpful to keep coming back to the L-word. Putting aside what seemed like a futile mission to “understand” God, I made a decision to turn my will and my life over to the 12-step program of action. That “flimsy reed” has become stronger and more resilient as I notice more and more moments when I feel an elusive sense of presence and connectedness, impulses toward kindness, an expanding open-heartedness, growing trust for my instincts.

ACCEPT YOUR SPONSOR'S GUIDANCE. And try to be gracious about and grateful for it. We're often told to seek a sponsor who has what we want (or, perhaps better, has what he or she wants) so that, with his or her guidance we can get what we want. Assume that your sponsor is not just trying to jerk you around or run your life for the fun of it. (Assume that doing so isn't much fun.) Every time I've followed advice I balked at, my life has gotten unexpectedly and markedly better. The advice I least want to follow seems to do me the most good.

BREATHE, PRAY, WRITE. Every word and every sentence moves you forward. If all you can do is write just one sentence, answer one question, analyze one relationship at a time, do it. Keep the notebook or whatever you're using handy: it's a great pastime during traffic jams (when you're not moving), in waiting rooms, on the bus, until the pasta water boils, whatever. Or try the opposite if you can: spend a weekend at a spa, with a step to work on. (I answered most of the questions associated with step 5 while my friend drove us through the Central Valley last spring; vistas of rolling hills and fields, a dozen shades of green, will forever be associated with what I came to understand as I wrote: the remorse I felt about “the wreckage of my past” was grandiose; I'm a mess, but I'm not the worst person in the world).

PERFECTIONISM IS THE ENEMY OF PROGRESS. Those who could do the steps perfectly don't need the steps in the first place. I thought I had to come up with “the right answers” in order to move forward, instead of the honest answer which was sometimes “I'm not sure” or “I don't know” or “I don't understand the question.” Those uncertainties led to some of the most enlightening conversations with my sponsor. Reluctance to ask for help is one of my character defects and stepwork has shown me how much better life becomes when I relinquish that shortcoming. It's not about doing it “right” but doing it honestly. You don’t start with clarity, you gain clarity.

WHEN YOU'RE FEELING STUCK, RUN TOWARD – NOT AWAY FROM – YOUR SPONSOR. You ask for their help and depend upon their compassion and understanding about everything else, why not this? That, after all, is the main reason you have a sponsor: to guide you through the steps. And remember, it’s a two-way street. Your sponsor isn’t just helping you: as he works with you he's retracing his own steps and reinforcing his recovery.

TALK ABOUT IT. Nowhere is it written that your sponsor is the only one you work with. If you're feeling stuck, try “telling on yourself” at meetings. The truth will set you free – maybe even free to resume writing. And it may encourage others to come clean about their roadblocks.

DON'T PEEK (not that you can help it, since the steps get read at every meeting). If you're worried, while inventory-taking (step 4), that you're also identifying many of the people to whom you owe amends (step 9), it will be tempting to skip over some people or situations. (Apologize to Rick Warren? No f*#king way!) Do what you can to pretend that Step 9 never comes. Stay in the now and trust the process: each step will pave the way for the next one. Focus on the next indicated action: it's good practice.

THE GOAL IS NOT TO FINISH THE STEPS, BUT TO LIVE THEM. Of course you want the “awakening” Step 12 promises. But there are many precious epiphanies along the way. So work all the steps, but don't think of it as a race to the finish line. “Easy does it” is a good way to silence the inner drill sargeant – but keep doing it. Every day offers an opportunity to work all of the steps, even as you're trudging through the paperwork. “We practice these principles in all our affairs” isn’t just a slogan, it’s a design for living.

LAUGH. Taking yourself too seriously is not a requirement for taking the work seriously.

Michael G

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday June 11, 2011

2011-06-13T21:12:00.000-07:00

* All committees are in need of volunteers:
Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in being of service and joining one of our committees, speak with your GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery. One addict helping another one day at a time.
* Register your meetings:
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.
* Elections:
On July 9th, 2011 we will be holding elections for all board members of The Greater Los Angeles District of Crystal Meth Anonymous. Chairman, Co-Chairman and Treasurer have a 2 year sobriety requirement. Public info and Outreach, literature and Helpline have a 1 year sobriety requirement. Secretary has a 6 month sobriety requirement. I highly encourage all GSR’s and interested members to join us for the elections.
* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday:
Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
No Tweak Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
Cheers CMA 6:00 pm @ 5934 Temple City Boulevard, Temple City
Monday:
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Boulevard, Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Avenue, Los Angeles. (This meeting has a high volume of newcomers and can use the support of people with sobriety time.)
Tuesday:
Spinning into the Solution 7:00 pm @ 1919 Beachwood Avenue, Los Angeles
Wednesday:
We are not alone 7:00 pm @ 935 East Broadway Avenue, Long Beach
Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard, Los Angeles
Thursday:
Joyous, Grateful, & Free 7:00 pm @ 9436 Slauson Avenue, Pico Rivera
Friday:
Home Group @ 10:15 pm 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard, Los Angeles
Saturday:
Crystal Clear @ 2:30 pm 626 North Robertson Boulevard, West Hollywood
Stayin’ Alive @ 7:00 pm MCC CHURCH 4953 Franklin Avenue, Los Angeles

World Conference Report:
Los Angeles submitted a bid for the 2014 world conference. Details TBA.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The return of the newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are in stock and include the new pamphlets “The Sober Tool Kit” and “What About God.” The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope is now available at the GSR meeting for $12.00. If we are sold out, you can order copies. The 2011 little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com
Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on August 20th, 2011 in San Louis Obispo @ 1:00 pm. Details TBA.

Public outreach, information (P&I): Please join Roger D and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and take a helpline shift. It is a great way to help guide newcomers to meetings.

The next combined committee meeting for the helpline and P&I TBA.
Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for upcoming events!
Upcoming events include an H&I Pool Party, & a Roller Skating Night.
Being of Service
Freddie

San Diego Convention in October

2011-06-03T21:54:00.000-07:00

The First Annual San Diego Convention is happening in October. Mark your calendars! (Click on the visual to enlarge it.)

Saturday Meeting/Regional

2011-05-31T20:40:00.000-07:00

We are having a CMA Meeting Saturday June 4th at 7:00 pm at the Hilton Garden Inn in El Segundo. We will be joining the General Service Board of CMA as well as the Regional Trustees from around the country for this CMA Meeting. The address of the hotel is:

Hilton Garden Inn El Segundo
2100 E Mariposa Ave, El Segundo, CA 90245

Freddie

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday May 14, 2011

2011-05-17T00:48:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting and welcome to the new GSR’s. All members of CMA are welcome.
Thanks to Joey C. for being of service as our new comer packet chair. I would like to welcome Anthony G. who has stepped up to take the position. I would also like to welcome David W. who will be our service liaison.
Happy Birthday to Kurt 5 years and Eddie for 4 years. Celebrating 9 years of collective recovery!
Being of service, Freddie

* All committees are in need of volunteers.
Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in being of service and joining one of our committees, speak with your GSR for information or go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting. Service is an essential part of recovery. One addict helping another one day at a time.

* Register your meetings.
If you currently hold a service position at a meeting such as secretary or GSR; please register your meeting at cmainla.com. There is a link on the front page of our website.

* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday:
Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
No Tweak Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
Cheers CMA 6:00 pm @ 5934 Temple City Boulevard, Temple City
A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Avenue, Altadena
Monday:
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Boulevard, Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Avenue, Los Angeles
Tuesday:
New Location: Spinning into the Solution 7:00 pm @ 1919 Beachwood Avenue,
Los Angeles
Wednesday:
We are not alone 7:00 pm @ 935 East Broadway Avenue, Long Beach
Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard, Los Angeles
Thursday:
Joyous, Grateful, & Free 7:00 pm @ 9436 Slauson Avenue, Pico Rivera
Friday:
Up The Stairs 7:00 pm @ 5450 East Atherton Street #5, Long Beach
Home Group @ 10:15 pm 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard, Los Angeles
Saturday:
Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm MCC CHURCH 4953 Franklin Avenue, Los Angeles

World Conference Report: The annual Love and Service one day conference will be held on June 4th. A special CMA meeting will be held that evening at 6 pm. All members are welcome. Place: El Segundo Hilton Garden Inn.

Los Angeles submitted a bid for the 2013 or 2014 world conference. Details TBA.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope is now available at the GSR meeting for $12.00. If we are sold out, you can order copies. The little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) and newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com
Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on May 28, 2011 in San Diego @ 1:00 pm. Place: 3900 Cleveland Street
San Diego, CA 92103

Public outreach, information (P&I): Please join Roger D and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and take a helpline shift. It is a great way to help guide newcomers to meetings.

The next combined committee meeting for the helpline and P&I TBA.

Why I Love the Twelve Traditions

2011-05-08T12:52:00.001-07:00

I'm surprised you've read past the title. The big snooze: the part of a meeting we love to tune out: “blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,... unity... blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,... self-supporting … blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, … service centers... blah, blah … special workers … blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,... principles before personalities.” Finally that's over – can we please get back to our meeting now?

So here's what I probably like best of all, addict that I am: there are no rules. Think about it. How often, for instance, does someone “share” long after the timer has sounded (not infrequently when they have nothing to say)? It happens all the time – on average maybe once or twice per meeting. And so what; we move on. You're a member when you say you are – not that hordes of “normies” are clamoring to become card-carrying dope fiends. By the way, we don't have membership cards. Strictly speaking, meetings are meetings whether the Twelve Traditions are read or not: a group's respect for tradition retains the practice. And that is the essence of the miracle: that groups of rebellious drug addicts police* themselves – that broad principles alone prevent anarchy. They don't just prevent anarchy: they account for remarkable fidelity and predictability: 12-step meetings in St. George, Utah are pretty much indistinguishable from those in West Hollywood, CA. I know: I've been there.

In ways I cherish, the Twelve Traditions make our fellowship and others the un-corporation and the un-church. The un-corporation? The traditions contradict virtually every convention of organizational structure in modern society, no matter what the political or economic system. We have no bosses, no middle managers, no pep talks from the HR department. We don't separate the “professionals” from the clerks and janitors: you're a sponsor when you say you are; today's treasurer is tomorrow's clean-up person. We own no property; our groups meet on the margins, local committees meet in member's homes. If you don't find that remarkable, consider the real estate grandiosity of most organizations (“non-profit” health insurance companies are a great example#). We live happily within slender means, soliciting no support from sources other than meeting attendees, and somehow we get by. With nothing but a website, a hotline, and word of mouth – without puffery and self-promotion – we continue to grow.

The un-church? Yes, there's a certain evangelical quality to the “pitch” of members on the speaking circuit. But where the rubber meets the road in most religions – in dogmatic interpretations of the attributes and expectations of whatever deity they worship – 12-step spirituality (“a higher power of your own understanding”) removes all the friction. What you believe is your own business. But believe.

One of the things I most admire about the traditions is how they came into being. They contradict almost every instinct of AA's co-founder, Bill W., who thought just like any other businessman eager to build a large and successful enterprise. Flushed with the first successes – a few dozen drunks in New York City and in Akron, Ohio who stayed sober for a few years – Bill W. proceeded like any other entrepreneur. Even before he set pencil to paper to start writing the “big book,” he used family connections to get an audience with John D. Rockefeller, Jr. in search of the big bucks that would support a nationwide franchise of drunk tanks and cadres of paid proselytizers. Confounded by Rockefeller's fear that “money will spoil this thing,” Bill W. came to appreciate the wisdom of that perspective only after the early, hardscrabble years were behind him. Aspiring to live in the agreeable circumstances he felt he deserved, he was tempted by a well-compensated job as a lay counselor at Towns Hospital (including a profit-sharing plan); instead, he let himself be guided by group conscience to keep “twelfth step work” unpaid and non-professional. And so it went, learning lesson after lesson by carefully observing the experience of groups as they grew explosively, squabbled, imploded, re-grouped, suffered mission creep, lost their way, fell apart, and began again.

Well-equipped by talent and inclined by temperament to want to run the show, Bill repeatedly applied the principle of humility to curb his own enthusiasms and ambitions: when he became most exasperated and impatient about getting his way, he was able to reel himself in and recognize that he was on an “emotional bender.” And it is humility that seems to undergird all of the traditions: no rigid rules, no bosses, no credentials, no investments, no luxury, no self-promotion, no status-seeking. Instead, subvert self-seeking in favor of the greater good. The Twelve Traditions frame an organization that somebody who hates organizations can readily learn to love.

Michael G.

G.S.R. Meeting Minutes April 9, 2011

2011-04-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
No Tweak Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
Cheers CMA 6:00 pm @ 5934 Temple City Blvd, Temple City
A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena
Monday:
Steering Clear @ 12:00 pm 5715 S Broadway, Los Angeles
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Blvd. Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave. Los Angeles
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. Los Angeles
Wednesday: Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard Los Angeles We are not Alone Meeting 7:00 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Broadway Long Beach
Thursday: Joyous, Grateful, & Free 7:00 pm 9436 Slauson Ave., Pico Rivera
Clear Future @ 8:00 pm 1401 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica
Friday: Home Group @ 10:15 pm 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard Los Angeles
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm MCC CHURCH 4953 Franklin Ave. L.A.

Spanish Meeting: Victor D. is in the beginning stages of starting the first
Spanish speaking meeting. If you are interested in helping him with this
Project, please email him through cmainla.com and go to “contacts.”

World Conference Report: The annual Love and Service one day conference is coming up in June. Details TBA.

Los Angeles is submitting a bid for the 2014 world conference. We will be celebrating 20 years of CMA and so it seems fitting to have the conference in Los Angeles at this time.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope is now available at the GSR meeting for $12.00. If we are sold out, you can order copies. The little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) and newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com
Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on May 28, 2011 in San Diego. Details TBA.

Public outreach, information (P&I): Please join Roger D and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and take a helpline shift. It is a great way to help guide newcomers to meetings.

There will be a combined committee meeting for the helpline and P&I on Tuesday May 3rd 7:00 pm @ 929 San Vicente Blvd. #6 West Hollywood Ca. 90069.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for upcoming events!
Conscious Contact Sunlight of the Spirit is set for May 6 - 8, 2011 ($175 for the weekend). Please register at cmainla.com.

The next planning meeting is TBA.
The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please go to cmainla.blogspot.com, or write to editorcmainla@gmail.com

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The winter 2011 revised directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Bob S. & Robert G. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Panel leaders need to speak on minimum of 6 panels before becoming a leader. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday May 14, 2011, at noon at The Gateway Center 7100 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood 90046
H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – Long Beach will be having an H&I appreciation day TBA. If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach, please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday May 14, 2011 @ 10:00 AM The Gateway Center
7100 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood 90046

Freddie D.

Reducing the Likelihood of Relapse

2011-03-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

My six years of sobriety has not always been pretty, but it has certainly been enough time for me to develop some theories on why some of my brothers seem to keep relapsing. Trust me, I’d rather just say: “Go ahead and do more research if you need to,” but relapse can be a very serious business. I’d say we get news of a suicide or overdose an average of once every two months at least. For those who do less damage, there’s guilt, regret, self-reproach. And when they find themselves but a week or two later staring at a text from their dealer and weighing whether they can get away with a few sleepless nights—the cycle is indeed one of incomprehensible demoralization.

Thank God you keep coming back, thank God you let the rest of us know it doesn’t get any better out there. But I think there are some questions worth asking yourself that might make your last relapse your last relapse.

First, let’s recognize something: relapse on meth is almost always about sex. I get it. You want to recapture the erotic excitement that was so potent at the beginning of your using. You know what I’m talking about, I don’t need to glamorize it or trigger anyone. Suffice to say meth makes beer goggles look like training wheels by comparison.

And yet it only takes a few weeks for amnesia to kick in. How many times have I heard guys insist that they didn’t get sober to be celibate, even though it’s only 2 weeks since they last picked up? Only an urban gay male addict would think putting sex on the shelf for a few months constituted “celibacy.” Guess what, young man. Your penis will not atrophy. You will not forget how to use it. No one ever dies of horniness. But staying away from the trigger of all triggers for a while may save your life.

This is the value of staying away from sex until you’ve got some time under your belt. It’s an opportunity to ask yourself these questions: Who am I without the sex? Who am I without the validation? Do I think I’m a loser if I stay in on a Saturday night and read a book or watch a movie? What meaning have I attached to how many people want to sleep with me? Do I measure my self-worth by my perceived desirability? Do I understand intimacy? Do I know how to have sex with intimacy? How do I make sex part of living along spiritual lines? How do I live along spiritual lines, period?

The answers I have found shift with experience, they expand, and deepen. But I’m convinced my willingness to ask these questions in the first place has everything to do with why I haven’t relapsed. And part of that willingness came from making a choice not to constantly distract myself with the hunt for sex that I had come to believe was what defined me as a gay man.

See, you know exactly what it’ll be like if you pick up again. You’ve been there a hundred times. But you don’t know what it’s like to stay sober one more day. And let me tell you, that’s where the adventure is. (And trust me, there’s plenty of sex, too. When you’re ready for it, it’ll be ready for you.)

M.O.

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday March 14, 2011

2011-03-14T21:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting. All members of CMA are welcome.
Happy Birthday to Melanie for 3 years
Being of service, Freddie
* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday:
Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
New Meeting: No Tweak Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena
Monday:
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Blvd. Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave. L.A.
Tuesday:
Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. L.A.
Wednesday:
Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard L.A.
Thursday:
Meeting has gone dark: Through the Looking Glass 8:00 pm @ 11455 Chandler Blvd. North Hollywood
Friday:
Home Group @ 10:15 pm 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard L.A.
Saturday:
Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm MCC CHURCH 4953 Franklin Ave. L.A.
Meeting has gone dark: Crystal Clear Methage 8:00 pm @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Spanish Meeting:
Victor D. is in the beginning stages of starting the first
Spanish speaking meeting of CMA. If you are interested in helping him with this
Project, please email him through cmainla.com and go to “contacts.”

World Conference Report: The first edition of Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope will be available for purchase at the monthly GSR meetings for $12.00. The following pamphlets have been interim approved: What is H&I, What about Alcohol and other drugs, What about God, Staying Sober and The Sober Tool Kit. We will have more copies at the next GSR meeting. Our hope is that all meetings have a good supply of them at their literature tables.

If you are a secretary or GSR please register your position and meeting you represent at crystalmeth.org.

The next World Conference will be March 1 – 4, 2012 in Atlanta Georgia; details to follow.

A more complete report will be available for viewing at crystalmeth.org soon.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The book Crystal Clear: Stories of Hope is now available at the GSR meeting for $12.00. If we are sold out, you can order copies. The little burgundy big book is available for $2.00 apiece featuring the first 164 pages of the AA big book. There are ten approved pamphlet currently no charge limit 5 apiece. Directories (15 cents ea.) and newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The pamphlet and meeting directories are also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on March 27, 2011 following the CMALA Convention at Plummer Park. Estimated time is 4 PM.

Public outreach, information (P&I): Please join Roger D and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and take a helpline shift. It is a great way to help guide newcomers to meetings.

There will be a combined committee meeting for the helpline and P&I to be announced.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events!
March Madness St Patrick’s Day roller skating party; details to follow.

Conscious Contact Sunlight of the Spirit is set for May 6 - 8, 2011 ($175 for the weekend). Please register at cmainla.com.

The next planning meeting is TBA.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please submit to editorcmainl@gmail.com.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The winter 2011 revised directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 15 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Bob S. & Robert G. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Panel leaders need to speak on minimum of 6 panels before becoming a leader. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday March 12, 2011, at noon at The Gateway Center 7100 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood 90046

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – Long Beach will be having an H&I appreciation day TBA. If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach, please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.
* All committees are in need of volunteers.

Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday April 9, 2011 @ 10:00 AM The Gateway Center
7100 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood 90046

Key Points from February 12 GSR Meeting

2011-02-15T12:27:00.000-08:00

Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting. All members of CMA are welcome. I especially want to welcome the new GSR’s that attended. Thanks for being of service and joining us.
Happy Birthday to Roger D. for 4 years and James O. for 1 year.

* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday:
Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
New Meeting: No Tweek Required 5:30pm @ 160 North El Molino Pasadena
A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena

Monday:
The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Blvd. Long Beach
Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave. L.A.

Tuesday:
Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. L.A.
Wednesday:
Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd. WeHo
Sex & Relationships 8:00 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Boulevard L.A.
Northeast CMA Candlelight 8:00 pm @ The Wall Las Memorias 111 North Ave 56 L.A.

Thursday:
Through the Looking Glass 8:00 pm @ 11455 Chandler Blvd. North Hollywood

Saturday:
Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm MCC CHURCH 4953 Franklin Ave. L.A.
Crystal Clear Methage 8:00 pm @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood

World Conference:
March 3rd – 6th 2011 at the Radisson Hotel Phoenix Airport
3333 East University Drive Phoenix Arizona 85034.
Registration for the event is $109. Go to cmaconference.com to register and obtain all the details.

New Literature: "Crystal Clear" - stories of hope the first edition and first official book of stories from Crystal Meth Anonymous. An initial order for 50 copies has been placed. They will be available on a first come first serve basis at the GSR meeting on March 12.

The following pamphlets will be available next month for downloading: What is
H&I, What about Alcohol and other drugs, What about God, Staying Sober and
The Sober Tool Kit.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories (15 cents ea.) and newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on March 27, 2011 following the CMALA Convention at Plummer Park.

Public outreach and information: Please join Roger D and the team to distribute helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and the team on February 24, 2011 for the next helpline meeting. Helping other addicts find meetings is a rewarding commitment. It will be held at 6:30 pm @ 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood Ca. 90028.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events!
Thanks to all that came out to Dance you’re Heart Out! It was a big success.
March madness St Patrick’s Day roller skating party; details to follow.
Spiritual retreat set for May 6 - 8, 2011 ($175 for the weekend).
The next planning meeting is TBA.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic at this address, please write to editorcmainla@gmail.com

Being of Service,
Freddie

Bindi's Burlesque

2011-02-08T11:48:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day Dance

2011-02-08T11:47:00.000-08:00

Dear Tina

2011-02-07T15:29:00.000-08:00

Dear Tina:

I've been meaning to write this letter to you for several years, but never got around to it until now. Funny how going through rehab woke me up to a lot of things, especially my relationship with you. When I first met you 10 years ago through our mutual friend Robert, there was an instant attraction. You came on strong and I liked that, because being so shy, you really drew me out of my shell. My life was instantly filled with energy and lust, and I just wanted more of you. You scratched an itch that had no person had ever touched before. The way you made me feel inside was unbelievable. With you, I felt I could do anything. I worked out for hours with you and watched my body transform. I loved the way you made me look and feel. I never understood why people looked down on you when we went out together. Some of my other friends didn't like seeing the two of us together, and I started to feel a little self conscious that they thought so poorly of the one I'd come to know and love. But you fixed that, Tina. All it took was a little bit more of you. You just kept giving and giving until I didn't care what they thought about our new relationship. It didn't matter that you were an expensive bitch. You got me into all the best places — sex clubs, bathhouses, the porn industry and on stage at world renowned bars and strip clubs. We were never apart. We flew around the country together, and I made it rain, day after day, because I wanted more of you, and I wanted to sustain our new love affair. Once in a while you'd go away for a few days, but I could never be apart from you for very long—I needed you, Tina. Being such a giver, you even introduced me to your friend Gina. But I never liked her as much as I loved you. I hated the way she tasted. And more often than not, she bored me to sleep. But a little more of you, Tina, and I was right back where I wanted to be — on top of the world.

As the years progressed I started noticing that we developed a very unidirectional codependent relationship. I started to put your needs ahead of my own. I would have done anything for you. You led me into a lot of situations that I was like, "What the Fuck?" At first it was fun, and there were some very hot times, but truth be told, I never really wanted to share you with anyone. I just wanted to isolate and be with you, all alone. The more I got to know you, the more I began to understand that what you were really after was something much, much darker. You dropped me off into some gnarly circumstances with sketchy people. What happened to your discriminating taste? Why did you leave me hangin? It was time to take a break from you — and so I left you for a while — a long while. But invariably I started to think about you again, and all the good times we had together. I'd have a bad day, or remember how I felt when I was on you, and I wanted to be near you again. So I'd make the call and within minutes I was with you again. It never felt quite the same, though. And now I couldn't just do you more often to get the judgment of our relationship out of my mind — I started to cover up our time together by making up stories and telling half-truths. I didn't want anyone to come between us, Tina, but I have to be honest with you, it was getting harder and harder for me to cover your ass.

The days passed, and you forced me to stay up through sunrises and sunsets, only to repeat the same routine day after day. As the days began to blur together, I became so dependent upon you, Tina, that I used you like coffee, just to wake up in the morning. Even the strongest espresso couldn't rouse me. I became so run down and ran so far into the ground that I began to question what had happened to the old days when we used to have fun together. This bottom-feeding, barrel scraping routine became less and less attractive. I could tell you started to take a toll on me when you left behind track marks and sores, my face gaunt and fat deposits unevenly distributed on what was once an ass like two ripe melons. I started taking sleeping pills and speedballing xanax to control your ire, my mind's own rough way of roughing you back up. I laid in sun beds and used cover-up to hide your toll. Oh, how you aged me, prematurely, Tina. You left me with STD's: chlamydia, syphilis, gonnoreah, and then the mother-of-them-all, HIV. I stopped you. I started you. Then I stopped you again, thinking I could go back to a previous way of life. Even meeting the man of my dreams could not stop our love/hate relationship. You turned me ugly when I started lying to my beloved about our relationship, even becoming violent when friends intervened upon you. Lies upon lies, lies within lies and around mis-truths—all chicanery to avoid the real truth, that I was addicted to you. You told me that 12-step programs were for weaklings, that I should be able to quit you on my own volition and self will. You led me to the brink of death numerous times and even to suicide.

Well that is where the madness stops.

Goodbye, Tina. Goodbye to your wicked ways and dirty, lying schemes. Goodbye to your filthy, battery-acid, rat-poisoned, stolen Sudafed laced life. Adios to your inscrutability and careless consequences. You are the most vile, slimy, sketchy substance that I've known.x Good riddance to your sores, your STDs, your flaky skin and ever flakier behavior. May you burn in flames for the damage you do to millions of people who will not be lucky enough to escape your crooked seductions. But Tina, it's I who will have the last laugh. Because even though I revile you, I also thank you for showing me the darkest depths of despair, so that I may now experience the glorious heights that come from a life clean without you. I will laugh you into your own dirty grave. Thank you for teaching me that the most seductive can sometimes be the most damaging. You are a perilous, reckless lover Tina. You leave no man standing in your wake. You take all men and women as your prisoner and leave them to rot in a pauper's prison. Well, not me, Tina. Cause THIS is goodbye. You shall not hear from me again. And please don't call me, because I've thrown out your phone number. Girl, I wouldn't touch you with a nine hundred and nineteen foot pole.

Sam

GSR Meeting, January 8, 2011

2011-01-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year CMAer’s! Thanks to all that attended our recent GSR meeting. All members of CMA are welcome. A special thanks to Donald L. for all is support and service to the district.
Happy Birthday to Terry D. for 4 years and Joey C. for 5 years.
Donald will no longer be working with the district but he is working with the area and world for H&I.

* Meetings that need support are:
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena
Monday: The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Broadway
Long Beach
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave.
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Northeast CMA Candlelight 8:00 pm @ The Wall Las Memorias
111 North Ave 56 Los Angeles 90042
Thursday: Through the Looking Glass 8:00 pm @ 11455 Chandler Blvd. North Hollywood, CA 91601
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30 pm @ 626 Robertson Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood

World Conference: March 3rd – 6th 2011 at the Radisson Hotel Phoenix Airport 3333 East University Drive Phoenix Arizona 85034. Registration for the event is $109 and the hotel is $99 per night. Go to cmaconference.com to register and obtain all the details.

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next California Area Assembly on January 29, 2011 1:00 PM at the Fullerton Alano Club 530 Commonwealth Ave. Fullerton 92832. Phone number is 714-992-0988.

Public outreach and information: Please join Roger D and the team for the first committee meeting of the year. It will be at 12 noon on January 21, 2011 @ 929 North San Vicente’ Blvd #6 West Hollywood 90069. The purpose of the meeting is to brainstorm P&I ideas for better circulation followed by a distribution of the helpline cards.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and the team on January 27, 2011 for the next helpline meeting. Helping other addicts find meetings is a rewarding commitment. It will be held at 6:30 pm @ 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood Ca. 90028.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events!

We are in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” set for early 2011, a Valentine’s dance on February 12, 2011 and our next spiritual retreat set for May 6 - 8, 2011 ($175 for the weekend). The next planning meeting is TBA.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The winter 2011 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. The cost is 10 cents per copy. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Panel leaders need to speak on a minimum of 6 panels before becoming a leader. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday February 12, 2011, at noon at the Plummer Park, Weho.

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach; please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories (10 cents ea.) and newcomer packets ($1.00 each) are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

Join the fellowship on Saturday February 12, 2011 11 am @ Plummer Park to discuss and learn about the details and agenda for the upcoming world conference in Phoenix Arizona. If you have a topic that you would like for the district to address at the world conference please feel free to let us know.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday January 8, 2011 10:00 AM Plummer Park Weho.

The Two Girlfriends

2011-01-05T18:12:00.000-08:00

Dear Mary Jane,

When we met in college, you were so much fun! I remember how we used to hang out in the evenings after studying. You made me relax and all the anxiety went away. All those feelings of being unattractive and geeky were unimportant because when we were together, I didn’t care or think about them. We watched Saturday Night Live and laughed a lot. You stayed with me all night, and I slept so well.

At first, when we were apart, I didn’t think about you much. But over the years, as we spent more time together, I always longed for you when you were gone. Eventually when we started to be together at every waking moment, I knew I had found my true love. For years we were inseparable, and I loved you so much I couldn’t bear to be without you. Even the consequences of missing my dissertation date and not listening to anyone else did not break the bond we had.

My heart was broken when you told me you could not be there for me. I became restless and unhappy that you were not willing to go the distance, and that I needed more from you. You said you were doing me a favor when you introduced me to your girlfriend, Tina. But it turns out that you were lying, and when I realized that, I was sad.

Tina took me places that I did not like and scared me at first. She would leave me alone when I protested, but would always wait just long enough for me to miss her just a little. Then she would show up and tease me. I got so excited just seeing her across the room.

Eventually I would get next to Tina, and she would touch me. I remember how the electricity zoomed through my body, and how I couldn’t wait to be with her again. You would call to check on me, and I would relax with you around for a while, but I always longed for Tina to return and bring back that excitement and fulfillment that no one else had ever achieved.

Sex with Tina was awesome and lasted for days. I always felt totally exhausted when we were done, but could not sleep. She was such a tease and I resented the fact that she would excite me at first, then drop me like a hot potato. She left me there, sweaty, horny and unfulfilled. Sometimes, she convinced me to call in sick for work, and we would watch TV with some of her friends. We were just staring at the screen, and I didn’t care who else was there. I grew disgusted and tired of Tina, so she would leave me alone a few days, and come back again. I tried to forget about her, and in return, she made me ill. I couldn’t work because she followed me everywhere, nagging and teasing me, and playing radio stations in my head.

People began to ask questions about her, but I would lie and tell them we had stopped seeing each other. You would come by during those empty times to calm me and just be there, but you wouldn’t let me do anything but watch TV and eat junk food.

You girls would fight over me and I just wished you both were gone for good. No one could reach me, because we were always arguing. I couldn’t handle the arguing or how you girls made me feel. I was lonely and wanted to see my old friends. You locked me in my house and invited strangers to visit. I became afraid the end was near, but held on some how, I don’t know how.

One day when you both went out to shop, I called my good friend, Bill W. and he told me how to be rid of my misery. I called the number he gave me, and made plans to take a vacation so I could get away. You both lied about how happy you would always make me feel, and stole my money. I couldn’t even do arithmetic or fix anything. How pathetic, depressing, and lonely.

I never want to see either of you again, because without you around I can see my friends, and know that they truly care about me, unlike you two, who never loved me -- you just used me to take away all the good things I had, and I have no idea why. Don’t come near me again. Just remember I can run faster than you!

Goodbye Bitches!

Frank D.

Bowling Party, Long Beach

2010-12-08T00:12:00.000-08:00

GSR Meeting Minutes - Saturday December 4 2010

2010-12-07T17:31:00.000-08:00

Hello CMAer’s,
Thanks all those that attended. All members of CMA are welcome. Here are some key points.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Broadway
Long Beach
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake (changing location soon)
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Northeast CMA Candlelight 8:00 pm @ The Wall Las Memorias
111 North Ave 56 Los Angeles 90042
THURSDAY: Through the Looking Glass 8:00 pm @ 11455 Chandler Blvd. North Hollywood, CA 91601
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30 pm @ 626 Robertson Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake (changing location soon)
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Sunday: The Internet – sobriety’s Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. has gone dark 
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next meeting on December 11, 2010 @ 1:00 pm Fresno Alano Club 1350 North 11th Street Fresno, Ca 93703-42103 (559)264-2730. We will be voting for our recommendation for trustee. The Los Angeles district will be endorsing Dale G.

Public outreach and information: Please join Roger D and the team for the next distribution (whore-tour distribution); time and date to be announced.

Helpline: Join Chuck C and the team on December 9th 2010 for the next helpline meeting. Helping other addicts find meetings is a rewarding commitment. It will be held @ 7:00 pm at 7:00 pm @ 1010 N. Hammond Street #305 WeHo 90069.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events! We are in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” set for early 2011, a Valentine’s dance and our next spiritual retreat set for May, 2011. The next planning meeting is TBA.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The fall 2010 (revised 1) directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up or place an order with Gregorio and he will have them ready for you at the monthly district meeting. You can also go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday January 8, 2011, at noon at the Plummer Park, Weho.

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach; please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.
A copy of this report can be found on cmainla.blogspot.com

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday January 8, 2011 @10:00 am Plummer Park Weho.
Have a Happy Holiday and we will see you next year!

Frank's House

2010-11-22T21:56:00.000-08:00

As many of you know, Frank's House is closing due to funding problems at the end of the years.
There will be a Yard Sale on Saturday November 27th from 12-5, to raise money to make the holidays decent for the clients.
On Saturday, December 4 from 12-3 there will be a potluck with food and entertainment.
Please support these functions, and spread the word.

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday November 13, 2010

2010-11-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Thanks all those that attended. All members of CMA are welcome. Here are some key points.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: The Living Room Meeting 7:30 pm @ Unity Church 935 E. Broadway
Long Beach
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake (changing location soon)
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Northeast CMA Candlelight 8:00 pm @ The Wall Las Memorias
111 North Ave 56 Los Angeles 90042
Highland Park
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake (changing location soon)
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Saturday: Milestones 8:00 pm @ 10544 Downey Ave. in Downey
Sunday: The Internet – sobriety’s Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next meeting on December 11, 2010 @ 1:00 pm Fresno Alano Club 1350 North 11th Street Fresno, Ca 93703-42103 (559)264-2730. We will be voting for our recommendation for trustee. The Los Angeles district will be endorsing Dale G, and Digby L.

Public outreach and information: Please join Roger D and the team for the next distribution (whore-tour distribution); time and date to be announced.
Helpline: Join Chuck C and the team on December 9th 2010 for the next helpline meeting. Helping other addicts find meetings is a rewarding commitment. It will be held @ 7:00 pm at 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood Ca. 90028.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events!
We are in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” set for early 2011, a winter dance and a bowling night in Long Beach. The next planning meeting is TBA.
The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please review guidelines (to your right) and submit an entry to editorcmainla@gmail.coim

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The fall 2010 directory (revised) is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday December 4, 2010, at noon at the Target Center/West Hollywood Gateway in the community room is located at Suite 7100 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 152 on the first floor West Hollywood, CA 90046.

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach; please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.
Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com
* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday December 4, 2010 @10:00 am Target Center/West Hollywood Gateway in the community room is located at Suite 7100 Santa Monica Boulevard, Suite 152 on the first floor West Hollywood, CA 90046.

Being of service, Freddie

Coffey Talk

2010-10-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

A new Fall Meeting Directory has been updated and posted on www.cmainla.com. The new directory includes the new time change for the CMA "Coffey Talk" Meeting Saturday nights, that now starts at 8:15pm and goes to 9:30pm. A business meeting was held and it was voted to include an extra 15 minutes to allow for more sharing by the group. This is a very successful Speaker/Participation Meeting and still rather new to LA's roster of CMA Meetings, located at The Bill Coffey House (Sober Living for Gay Men in Recovery) 836 N. Detroit St., Los Angeles, 90046. 1 blk west of La Brea Ave, and 1/2 blk south of Willoughby. Just at the border of West Hollywood, near the Target Center. Unlimited parking on La Brea Ave after 8pm. For more info call: 323-600-7787

Recovery on the Inside

2010-10-10T14:14:00.000-07:00

Recovery is alive and well here in Terminal Island. Thanks to the panels of H&I, the message is carried loud and strong. A lot of people don’t consider prison time "clean time," bet there are quite a few people who got clean in the very cell they shot up in. Just as you can find drugs here, you can find sobriety.

My situation is a little different than most. I was indicted and arrested on an old case from 2005, so I already had 2 ½ years clean and sober by the time I arrived. I was working for a drug and treatment center and had completely turned my life around. Funny how the wreckage of your past can come to bite you in the ass.

It was really hard for me because I kept thinking, 'I finally do the right thing and get back on the right path for this to come up out of nowhere. This is my reward for getting sober? Where is the love?' I’m no innocent but 135 months is hard to wrap your head around.

I’m truly blessed that I was sent to a facility with such a strong AA/NA recovery program. We are a group of 20-25 guys who work the steps and follow the path of recovery. We sponsor one another and are there for support and guidance.

Through the steps I’ve learned to accept my situation and that there is a reason and purpose to everything. I strive to work my program better and carry the message to others. Being of service also frees me from the bondage of self and gets me out of my head. Although I was given a chunk of time, there are guys doing 20 to 30 years on a drug charge. The Feds give out time like it’s candy. But when I’m feeling self-pity I have these great individuals to look up to who are doing the walk and talking the talk. There are so many good people in here who just got caught up in a bad situation and are doing an exorbitant amount of time. It’s completely insane.

But I’m lucky because today I’ve been relieved of my obsession to use. I get to deal with life on life’s terms. I’m not living the unproductive drug-induced life of my past. I deal with my thoughts and emotions as they come up and I don’t mask them through the use of drugs and alcohol. Thanks to this program I get to chance to make amends, and recognize my resentments both current and past. I practice persistence. In my daily affairs I embrace progress, not perfection.

Everyone that comes into our group consistently says that they get so much more out of our meetings than they could have ever imagined. So if you’re considering an H&I commitment, try it. The rewards can be so great and we appreciate it immensely.

Doug K.
Terminal Island Federal Prison

Ed. note.: If you would like to write Doug, please email me for his address at editorcmainla@gmail.com

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday October 3, 2010

2010-10-03T08:33:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,

Thanks all those that attended. All members of CMA are welcome. Here are some key points.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00 pm @ 5715 Broadway in Downtown L.A.
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Saturday: Milestones 8:00 pm @ 10544 Downey Ave. in Downey
Sunday: The Internet – sobriety’s Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena
Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next meeting on October 23rd @ 10:00 am Plummer Park.
Public outreach and information/Helpline: Roger D. and Chuck C. are working together. Please join them at the next meeting to discuss distribution of the helpline cards and to sign up for a phone slot. Thursday October 28 7:00 pm @ 1010 N. Hammond Street #305 WeHo 90069
Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team for these upcoming events!
We are in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” set for early 2011, a winter dance and a bowling night in Long Beach. The next planning meeting is TBA.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic on this blog, please write to editorcmainla@gmail.com

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The fall 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to cmainla.com to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday November 13, 2010, at noon at the Plummer Park, Weho.

H&I Long Beach: Mike M. – If you want to get involved in the growing H&I panels in Long Beach; please contact Mike M. through cmainla.com.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.
A copy of this report can be found on cmainla.blogspot.com

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday November 13, 2010 @10:00 am Plummer Park Weho.

Being of service,
Freddie

GSR Meeting, Sept. 11, 2010

2010-09-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
It was an awesome meeting and I would like to thanks all those that attended. I would like to thank Marvin M. for his service as registry/directory chair. Here are some key points.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave, LA CA 90027
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Sunday: The Internet: Sobrieties Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena

Area Assembly: All GSR’s are invited to join us at next meeting on October 23rd @ 10:00 am Plummer Park.

Public outreach and information: Join Roger D. and be part of a team spreading the word of CMA throughout the community. Go to CMAINLA.com and send Roger an e-mail if you want to be of service.

Helpline: Join Chuck C. and take a 4 hour shift answering the helpline. The next meeting is on Thursday September 30, 2010 @ 6 pm at 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood Ca. 90028.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team to plan these upcoming events! Last Splash is a pool party and a celebration of CMA turning 16 years old. Date, time and place: Sept 18th, 1-4pm, 506 N. Plymouth, LA 90004, Suggested Donation: $10.

We are also in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” (TBA) and the 6th annual Halloween dance. Our first annual spiritual retreat - “Conscious Contact- a Spiritual Awakening” focusing on prayer, meditation and yoga- October 8th, 9th &10th 2010; the cost is $175/person. This event has sold out but if you want to put yourself on a waiting list please go to CMAINLA.com and send an e-mail to Dale. The next planning meeting is at 1670 Beverly Blvd #9 Los Angeles, Ca. 90026 on Friday September 17th. The planning committee will meet from 6:30 to 7:30 and the program committee will meet from 7:30 till 8:30. If you are attending please consider being on the planning committee also.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please view the guidelines here and submit to editorcmainla@gmail.com.

Registration/Directory: Gregorio V. - The summer 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to CMAINLA.com to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. We are also in need of panel leaders. Speakers need 6 months clean and panel leaders need 1 year. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday October 2, 2010, at noon at the Plummer Park, Weho.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday October 2, 2010 @10:00 am Plummer Park Weho.

Being of service,

Freddie

Pool Party!

2010-09-10T16:15:00.000-07:00

What to Do About SPPIS

2010-09-07T14:21:00.000-07:00

The symptoms of SPPIS (Sober Pool Party Inadequacy Syndrome) are easily visible. Someone sits apart from the crowd, often with his shirt on in the hot sun, with an anxious look on his face. He is busy listening to an endless negative loop in his head. His perception is that “all these gorgeous men” are having a wonderful time, and secretly sneering at his extra (or missing) 5 or 10 or more pounds. Even though it’s a benefit, he imagines they’re wondering what he’s doing at their party. He thinks he’s the only one going through this, the only one who feels lonely and miserable. He selectively remembers those times, probably early in his using days, when he would have a “good time” at parties. He wonders if he’ll ever have “good time” again.

If this describes your experience, I’m here to tell you are perfectly normal. In fact, I’ve never known someone in early sobriety for whom this is not the experience at most sober gatherings, much less those that advertise your gym attendance or lack thereof. These are exactly the kinds of uncomfortable feelings we ALL medicated over when in our addiction. Notice how 95% of the attendees at a circuit party are on something? Even the beauty-blessed musclegods are battling an inner monologue of self-doubt and insecurity. That’s why they usually end up getting so high that all they can do most of the night is huddle on the dance floor with the friends they came with.

Men are eroticized by visual stimuli. Gay men, straight men, all men. It’s why you’ll see the Bob Newharts with the Suzanne Pleshettes of the world, but never the reverse. It’s why men watch porn but women rarely do. As gay men, these male tendencies are squared. The result is that we tend to confuse desirability with happiness. We imagine if we “looked like that” we would be in a state of constant bliss. And yet some of the most insecure men I’ve ever met are considered some of the hottest porn stars. Some of them were even at the very pool party you were so unhappy at, and I guarantee you they were intimately familiar with exactly the same feelings you were battling.

So you have a few choices: 1) you can use again, feel very temporary relief, and then go right back to that despairing place you were before you got sober in the first place; 2) stay sober and avoid all social events in which you might feel intimidated; or 3) keep showing up, and be willing to do things differently.

But how? Try this. Before you get out of the car, ask yourself some questions. What if I set aside my fear? What if I decided my low-self esteem was a character defect, and something I could let go of? What if I replaced obsessing about my misery with a decision to talk to someone who was sitting alone, someone who might be even more scared, lonely or self-conscious than I am? What if I imitated the other guys who are taking pictures, serving burgers, or squirting water? What if I decided to pretend to have a good time, just to see if I actually did?

I promise you, if you do all of these things, you will NOT be magically free of your insecurities. You will still probably unfavorably compare yourself to the men you find terribly attractive. But the volume WILL go down enough on that negative self-chatter that you might actually enjoy yourself. This may mean defining that experience differently than how you imagine it now. Dancing, flirting, or getting validation may be small part of it, or no part of it at all. “A good time” may be just about giggling with a friend, cleaning off the picnic table or just talking to someone who needs to talk. (I have rarely introduced myself to anyone at one of these pool parties and gotten anything but a big smile, usually accompanied by an expression of tremendous relief that someone is talking to him.)

It’s absolutely amazing what happens when you are willing to entertain the notion that your feelings may not be the most important thing in the world. In fact, when you put love and service first, you will find that your feelings have the magical way of taking care of themselves.

M.O.

Sober Pool Party!

2010-08-28T14:27:00.000-07:00

Monday Sept 6th/Russell Y's/7013 Aldea Ave/Van Nuys, CA/91506

Countdown to Now

2010-08-26T14:24:00.000-07:00

It was countdown time. Newcomers stood up and identified themselves. The applause was loud and encouraging--I clapped and smiled along with everybody. The sobriety countdown continued. Thirty to sixty days. Sixty to ninety days—that where I am. But as the countdown continued I began to feel increasingly uncomfortable. I became intensely conscious of everyone’s time in relation to my own.

I couldn’t shake the awareness of my relapses. I should be with the ones who raised their hands for the two-to-three year group, but I relapsed at a year and a half. Then there were those taking their one-year cake. I would have been among them but went out at nine months. I felt envy—the chartreuse monster.

The next morning, I woke up feeling shitty still. I felt sorry for myself—or at least my bruised ego did. I began to devalue myself and my recovery at an alarming pace. I went from having 72 proud days of sobriety to imagining myself a tragic old trot with nothing but a bus pass and a toothbrush to his name. Gratitude had flown out the window and along with it all sense of perspective.

I know how to feel bad about myself. It is so ingrained. Beating myself up is second nature. The “ism” waits for these vulnerable times and mugs my fragile self-esteem with the ferocity of a pack of hyenas-- pulling, tugging and shredding me into ribbons. “Compare and despair” kicks in and I get stuck in a spiraling loop of self-reproach and fear.

Luckily, I’ve been around long enough to have heard solution. It’s about one addict helping another. So I got on the phone and called people and talked. Called others and talked some more. It was with their help that I began to sort out and identify the various elements gnawing at me. It was only by talking to those I turned to that I was able to pull myself up into the present—the only “time” that really matters!

They reminded me that I was fortunate to survive two (fairly short) relapses and make it back into the rooms. Many do not. The pointed out my willingness to live a spiritual life manifests itself twice daily. In the morning I kneel and read from the Big Book, and recite the Third and Seventh step prayers. At night before I go to sleep, I again kneel and thank my Higher Power for keeping me clean and sober for one more day. Gratitude in action.

I make phone calls and more importantly, return them. I go to meetings and despite my fear and self-judgment, sit amongst my fellows. I stay open-minded and willing to take suggestion. I get more and longer glimpses of peace, love and serenity.

I am still here. Just for today.

Richard H.

Bowling Night

2010-08-18T16:56:00.001-07:00

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday August 14, 2010

2010-08-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

LOS ANGELES AREA DISTRICT 1

Hello CMAer’s,
Thanks for a fantastic and progressive meeting. Here are some key points.
Being of service, Freddie
* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00 pm @ 5715 Broadway Los Angeles.
Monday: Beginners Group 8:30 pm @ 1733 N New Hampshire Ave, LA CA 90027
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: 7:00 pm Stick into the Solution @ 626 Robertson Blvd. West Hollywood
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Thursday: CMA book (Unspun: Stories of Hope) reading meeting 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Thursday 7:00 pm Joyous, Grateful and Free 9436 Slauson in Los Angeles
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood
Saturday: Coffey Talk 8:30 pm @ The Bill Coffey House 836 North Detroit in Los Angeles
Sunday: The Internet: Sobrieties Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena

Area Assembly: August 28 at 1pm in Davies Hospital 45 Castro Street, San Francisco. Go to CMAINLA.COM for more information. All GSR’s are invited. Candidates for the open trustee position are Dale G and Digby L.

Public outreach and information: Join Roger D. and be part of a team spreading the word of CMA throughout the community. The next Info/outreach meeting is to be announced and the next LA/Long Beach distribution day TBA. We had a successful distribution day in Long Beach. Thanks to all that help out.

Helpline: Join Chuck C. and take a 4 hour shift answering the helpline. The next meeting is on Thursday August 15, 2010 @ 6 pm at 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood Ca. 90028.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team to plan these upcoming events! We will be having a bowling night at Shatto Lanes (3255 W. 4th street at Vermont. ). We are also in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” (TBA) and the 6th annual Halloween dance. Our first annual spiritual retreat - “Conscious Contact- a Spiritual Awakening” focusing on prayer, meditation and yoga- October 8th, 9th &10th 2010. The cost is $175/person. We are 50% booked. Sign up now. There is a link at CMAinLA.com for registering. Dixon P. is registration chairperson.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please take a look at the pieces here at cmainla.blogspot.com and the guidelines, then submit pieces to editorcmainla@gmail.com. Mark will be happy to work with you to shape anything should you feel it needs it.

Registration/Directory: Marvin M. - The summer 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to CMAINLA.com to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday September 11, 2010, at noon at the Plummer Park, Weho.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.
A copy of this report can be found on cmainla.blogspot.com
The next GSR meeting is on Saturday September 11, 2010 @10am Plummer Park Weho. Let’s make something positive happen on this day!

Understanding Dopamine

2010-08-12T07:25:00.000-07:00

The following excerpt refers at one point to crack, but as far as the effect on the pleasure centers of the brain, it could just as easily be crystal meth:

"The importance of dopamine was discovered by accident. In 1954, James Olds and Peter Milner, two neuroscientists at McGill University, decided to implant an electrode deep into the center of a rat's brain. The precise placement of the electrode was largely happenstance; at the time, the geography of the mind remained a mystery. But Olds and Milner got lucky. They inserted the needle right next to the nucleus accumbens (NAcc), a part of the brain that generates pleasurable feelings. Whenever you eat a piece of chocolate cake, or listen to a favorite pop song, or watch your favorite team win the World Series, it is your NAcc that helps you feel so happy.

"But Olds and Milner quickly discovered that too much pleasure can be fatal. They placed the electrodes in several rodents' brains and then ran a small current into each wire, making the NAccs continually excited. The scientists noticed that the rodents lost interest in everything. They stopped eating and drinking. All courtship behavior ceased. The rats would just huddle in the corners of their cages, transfixed by their bliss. Within days, all of the animals had perished. They died of thirst.

"It took several decades of painstaking research, but neuroscientists eventually discovered that the rats had been suffering from an excess of dopamine. The stimulation of the NAcc triggered a massive release of the neurotransmitter, which overwhelmed the rodents with ecstasy. In humans, addictive drugs work the same way: a crack addict who has just gotten a fix is no different than a rat in an electrical rapture. The brains of both creatures have been blinded by pleasure. This, then, became the dopaminergic cliche; it was the chemical explanation for sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

"But happiness isn't the only feeling that dopamine produces. Scientists now know that this neurotransmitter helps to regulate all of our emotions, from the first stirrings of love to the most visceral forms of disgust. It is the common neural currency of the mind, the molecule that helps us decide among alternatives. By looking at how dopamine works inside the brain, we can see why feelings are capable of providing deep insights. While Plato disparaged emotions as irrational and untrustworthy - the wild horses of the soul - they actually reflect an enormous amount of invisible analysis."

Author: Jonah Lehrer
Title: How We Decide
Publisher: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Date: Copyright 2009 by Jonah Lehrer
Pages: Kindle Loc. 463-538.

One Hour at a Time

2010-08-05T17:42:00.000-07:00

I’m in my first 60 days of recovery, and it’s still overwhelming. I hear that people have 6 months here and 6 years there, and that’s where I want to be. Now. I don’t have the patience to wait—I want all of this addiction stuff behind me already. It’s like looking down the barrel of a gun, waiting for those days to pass. I hear “one day at a time” but right now I have to take it one hour at a time just to make it through the day. And I do, coming out on the other side with another notch of sobriety on my belt – for which I’m grateful.

I’ve already begun to see changes in myself as I’ve begun to work the first two steps. Fortunately, I didn’t have a problem with a “higher power,” because I realized that once crystal had pretty much taken over, I was helpless –it had won and was more powerful than me. Or so I thought. Using the second step, I have realized that there must be something equal to or greater than crystal’s power over me. It took some serious thought and reflection, but I managed to find something outside of myself that was greater than the power of the meth. It’s not easy putting it into practice though. I keep battling the “I-know-I-can-still-use-if” thinking, knowing intellectually that that is impossible. I am an addict, and I can never use safely.

It took me years to come to the admission that I had a problem. And of course the last place I wanted to go was a CMA meeting, because you were all addicts and I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I faced myself honestly that I could admit that yes, I was one too. It still hurts to say it; I don’t know how long it will take for that to end, but I’m sure in time that it will. I can’t say that I wake up each day and thank God that I’m alive, because I don’t. Most mornings it’s “Why? Why another day of this?” But I do have a higher power now, and I’m going to work to make sure that this higher power helps me in battling my addiction. So I go to 4-5 meetings a week, and should probably go to more. I share at the meetings because there might be someone else who needs to know he's not alone in what he's going through. We have all been there I think, and there’s nothing quite like the camaraderie of shared experience.

I’m still struggling, but I now have hope thanks to the meetings I attend and the wonderful people I have met. I have a sponsor (another thing I bitterly resisted) who I can talk to and who is guiding me through the steps. Are the thoughts of using still there? For sure. I don’t know how long the specter of relapse will hang over my head, terrifying me that I’ll fall backward and lose what I’ve gained, but I’ve heard it becomes easier as time goes by. But that’s my problem, now, isn’t it? I want it now, but that’s not the way it works. So I guess I’ll keep doing it one day, one hour at a time.

-Bill F.

Key Points from GSR meeting, Saturday July 10, 2010

2010-07-13T09:18:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
We had an awesome GSR meeting for LA District 1 on Saturday. Thanks to all who are of service.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00 pm 5715 Broadway Los Angeles.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Wednesday: 8:00 pm Candlelight @ The Wall Las Memorias 111 North Ave. 56 in Los Angeles.
Thursday: CMA book (Unspun Stories of Hope) reading meeting 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Thursday 7:00 pm Joyous, Grateful and Free 9436 Slauson in Los Angeles
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood.
Saturday: Coffey Talk 8:30 pm @ The Bill Coffey House 836 North Detroit in Los Angeles.
Sunday: The Internet: Sobrieties Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach.
Sunday: A Method to our madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena.

Area Assembly: August 28 at 1pm in San Francisco. Go to CMAINLA.COM for more information. All GSR’s are invited. If you have a candidate for the open trustee position; please let us know at the next GSR meeting so they can be presented at the assembly.

Public outreach and information: Join Roger D. and be part of a team spreading the word of CMA throughout the community. The next Info/outreach meeting is to be announced. The Next LA distribution day is July 29th @ noon at Plummer Park.
Long Beach distribution day July 31st @ noon – Norm suggested Bixsby Park (corner of Broadway and Cherry, LB)

Helpline: Join Chuck C. and take a 4 hour shift answering the helpline. The next meeting is on Monday July 31st @ noon at 1010 N. Hammond Street #305 WeHo 90069.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team to plan these upcoming events! We will be having a bowling night at Lucky Strike in Hollywood at the end of August (TBA). We are also in the planning stages of our 2nd annual comedy night “LOL” (TBA). Our first annual spiritual retreat - “Conscious Contact- a Spiritual Awakening” focusing on prayer, meditation and yoga- October 8th, 9th &10th 2010. The cost is $175/person. There is a link on CMAinLA.com for registering. Dixon P. is registration chairperson.

The Blog: Mark O. - If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please write him at editorcmainla@gmail.com.

Registration/Directory: Marvin M. - The summer 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to CMAINLA.COM to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. – Long Beach panels are growing and a full listing will be on the website soon.
We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday August 14, 2010, at noon at the Plummer Park Weho.

Chips/Literature: Kurt T. - Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy 2010 edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature and in addition we will be adding the NYCMA sex in sobriety pamphlet with their kind permission. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com

* All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of or join us at the next district meeting.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday August 14, 2010 @10am Plummer Park Weho

Freddie

Miss Tina

2010-07-11T19:34:00.001-07:00

i will keep you up, alert and awake
just a little is all it will take
you'll start many tasks but accomplish none
and sex will be oh so fun

sniff me up first to feel my burn
you won't know it yet but soon you'll learn
I can blow you over like Hurricaine Katrina
but that's my power ... I am Miss Tina.

I make you think you don't want food
because you're in an upbeat mood
but soon you'll need me just to get by
because your life is better high

Soon enough your body will shrink
It happens much faster than you think
Your outlook changes, you'll complain and gripe
Until you put me into a pipe

Smoke me up until your spun
You'll think you're fine and there's the pun
I'll take your teeth, your job, your friends too
I'm what's most important to you

Soon your high isn't the same
so you put me into a vein
and then you're always on the run
just looking to cop some

I'll take your home, I'll get you arrested
In jail, you get HIV tested
You scream, you cry and you cuss
when the results are a big PLUS+

Then you're out and on parole
but I'll find you again and take your soul
Your family has left you on your own
and you have shriveled to skin and bone.

But that's not it, I'm not done
You'll sell your things one by one
and once you're out of shit to sell
life is just a living hell

You go out to steal from stores
you turn yourself into a whore
just to rent a room for 8 hours
but i am Tina & these are my powers.

Josh J.

The Physiology of Addiction

2010-06-26T17:23:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from an article that appeared in Wired magazine on Alcoholics Anonymous, which we freely acknowledge as the inspiration for CMA.
Even though it discusses alcohol, the resemblance to the addictive experience of meth is so striking that I thought it would be helpful for anyone who wants to understand how intoxicants work on the brain of an addict.

To understand the prefrontal cortex’s role in both addiction and recovery, you first need to understand how alcohol affects the brain. Booze works its magic in an area called the mesolimbic pathway—the reward system. When we experience something pleasurable, like a fine meal or good sex, this pathway squirts out dopamine, a neurotransmitter that creates a feeling of bliss. This is how we learn to pursue behaviors that benefit us, our families, and our species.

When alcohol hits the mesolimbic pathway, it triggers the rapid release of dopamine, thereby creating a pleasurable high. For most people, that buzz simply isn’t momentous enough to become the focal point of their lives. Or if it is, they are able to control their desire to chase it with reckless abandon. But others aren’t so fortunate: Whether by virtue of genes that make them unusually sensitive to dopamine’s effects, or circumstances that lead them to seek chemical solace, they cannot resist the siren call of booze.

Once an alcoholic starts drinking heavily, the mesolimbic pathway responds by cutting down its production of dopamine. Alcohol also messes with the balance between two other neurotransmitters: GABA and glutamate. Alcohol spurs the release of more GABA, which inhibits neural activity, and clamps down on glutamate, which stimulates the brain. Combined with a shortage of dopamine, this makes the reward system increasingly lethargic, so it becomes harder and harder to rouse into action. That’s why long-term boozers must knock back seven or eight whiskeys just to feel “normal.” And why little else in life brings hardcore alcoholics pleasure of any kind.

As dependence grows, alcoholics also lose the ability to properly regulate their behavior. This regulation is the responsibility of the prefrontal cortex, which is charged with keeping the rest of the brain apprised of the consequences of harmful actions. But mind-altering substances slowly rob the cortex of so-called synaptic plasticity, which makes it harder for neurons to communicate with one another. When this happens, alcoholics become less likely to stop drinking, since their prefrontal cortex cannot effectively warn of the dangers of bad habits.

This is why even though some people may be fully cognizant of the problems that result from drinking, they don’t do anything to avoid them. “They’ll say, ‘Oh, my family is falling apart, I’ve been arrested twice,’” says Peter Kalivas, a neuroscientist at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston. “They can list all of these negative consequences, but they can’t take that information and manhandle their habits.”

The loss of synaptic plasticity is thought to be a major reason why more than 90 percent of recovering alcoholics relapse at some point. The newly sober are constantly bombarded with sensory cues that their brain associates with their pleasurable habit. Because the synapses in their prefrontal cortex are still damaged, they have a tough time resisting the urges created by these triggers. Any small reminder of their former life—the scent of stale beer, the clink of toasting glasses—is enough to knock them off the wagon.

AA, it seems, helps neutralize the power of these sensory cues by whipping the prefrontal cortex back into shape. Publicly revealing one’s deepest flaws and hearing others do likewise forces a person to confront the terrible consequences of their alcoholism—something that is very difficult to do all alone. This, in turn, prods the impaired prefrontal cortex into resuming its regulatory mission. “The brain is designed to respond to experiences,” says Steven Grant, chief of the clinical neuroscience branch of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. “I have no doubt that these therapeutic processes change the brain.” And the more that critical part of the brain is compelled to operate as designed, the more it springs back to its pre-addiction state. While it’s on the mend, AA functions as a temporary replacement—a prefrontal cortex made up of a cast of fellow drunks in a church basement, rather than neurons and synapses.

Finally, the 12 steps address another major risk factor for relapse: stress. Recovering alcoholics are often burdened by memories of the nasty things they did while wasted. When they bump into old acquaintances they mistreated, the guilt can become overwhelming. The resulting stress causes their brains to secrete a hormone that releases corticotropin, which has been shown to cause relapse in alcohol-dependent lab rats.

AA addresses this risk with the eighth and ninth steps, which require alcoholics to make amends to people they’ve wronged. This can alleviate feelings of guilt and in turn limit the stress that may undermine a person’s fragile sobriety.

Bill W., as Wilson is known today, didn’t know the first thing about corticotropin-releasing hormone or the prefrontal cortex, of course. His only aim was to harness spirituality in the hopes of giving fellow alcoholics the strength to overcome their disease. But in developing a system to lead drunks to God, he accidentally created something that deeply affects the brain—a system that has now lasted for three-quarters of a century and shows no signs of disappearing.

The article can be read in its entirety here. This is not an endorsement of its content--we are neutral in such matters. (My personal opinion is that is gives short shrift to the spiritual aspects of 12-step programs.)

There is one informational tidbit that it very interesting should you not have the time or inclination to read the entire article. It would seem--to the degree they have been able to study this--that one of the best indicators of long-term sobriety is how many meetings are attended in the first year. The recommendation to go to 90 meetings in 90 days, and then one a day if you can swing it, would appear to be a smart one indeed.

Editor

Submission for CMA Manuscript

2010-06-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

Please be aware that it is still possible to submit pieces to the CMA Manuscript, collection of essays and personal stories about our recovery.

You can sumbit pieces here:

http://www.crystalmeth.org/general-services/literature-contributions.html

GSR Report

2010-06-14T08:25:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
I would like to start by thanking Victor D. for all his love and service with our H&I panels. He has been the chairperson for H&I since the first district meeting in August 2007 and he was instrumental at what is now a rich and successful committee. The time has come to pass the torch. Welcome to the new chairs: Donald L and Bob S.
I am proud to see so many of us in service work. Thanks to all of you. Let’s now get the word out.

* Love and Service: June 19th 2010 starting at 1:00 pm is the annual GSO conference. This is a 1 day event which will feature 3 workshops, a desert social ($15.00) and a speaker meeting. This event will be taking place at the Hilton Gardens Inn LAX/El Segundo 2100 East Mariposa El Segundo Ca. 90245.

The district is growing and now it’s time for its members to step up and get into service. Currently we have a solid GSR base and we have committee leaders. What we need are members to serve on these committees. The following is a list of upcoming meetings that any member can attend and be of service.

* Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00 pm 5715 Broadway Los Angeles.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Wednesday: Stick to the Solution 7:00 pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Thursday: CMA book (Unspun Stories of Hope) reading meeting 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood.
Sunday: The Internet: Sobriety's Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach.
Sunday: A Method to our Madness 7:30 pm 3025 North Lincoln Ave. Altadena.
New Meeting: Wednesday 8:00 pm Candlelight @ The Wall Las Memorias 111 North Ave. 56 in Los Angeles.
New Meeting: Thursday 7:00 pm Joyous, Grateful and Free 9436 Slauson in Los Angeles.

Public outreach and information: Join Roger D. and be part of a team spreading the word of CMA throughout the community. The next Info/outreach meeting is to be announced. 750 post cards were distributed at the Gay Pride event in West Hollywood with thanks to the help of The Tweakers Project. A special thanks to all at The Tweakers Project.

Helpline: Join Chuck C. and take a 4 hour shift answering the helpline. The next meeting is on Monday June 28 at 1010 N. Hammond Street #305 WeHo 90069.

Events planning: Join Dale G. and the team to plan these upcoming events! The Los Angeles Vs Long Beach softball game and BBQ is on 7/10/10 in Pan Pacific Park from 12-4pm. If people want to play they can email Dale through the website.

Our first annual spiritual retreat - “Conscious Contact- a Spiritual Awakening” focusing on prayer, meditation and yoga- October 8th, 9th &10th 2010. The cost is $175/person. There is a link on CMAinLA.com for registering. Dixon P. is registration chairperson.

The Blog: If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please write to Mark O. at editorcmainla@gmail.com. The blog itself can be read at cmainla.blogspot.com.

Registration/Directory: Marvin M. - The summer 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to CMAINLA.COM to download it.

H&I: Donald L. & Bob S. - There are 2 new panels – Phoenix House and McIntyre House. Coming soon: Long Beach H&I

We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting
Thank you.
Being of service,
Freddie

Meetings&Me

2010-06-13T07:27:00.000-07:00

(Ed. Note: This is abot twice as long as the usual entry, but well worth it.)

After 9 months as a “meeting maker,” the incomprehensible weirdness I first felt is wearing off so fast I wanted to write about it before it totally slipped away. The contrast between then and now is stark: from baffled, bewildered, and terrified, I have become a sort of meeting junkie. As with drug addiction, my experience illustrates a simple lesson: the weirdest behavior can come to seem totally normal after enough repetition.
About 6 months after quitting crystal meth, I slunk into a meeting for “educational purposes.” After deciding it would be interesting to learn “the party line” about drug and alcohol counseling, I quickly realized that 12-step programs were so integral to recovery that I ought to understand what they were all about. Having gone to a couple of CMA meetings in the midst of my addiction, to support a friend who was trying to stop, I actually thought I did not deserve to be there. I believed they were for people who had really suffered during their addiction and who were struggling to stay clean. By contrast, I considered myself unscathed, and I felt cocksure about my recently-acquired, but firm, repugnance for the drug and the culture that surrounded it.
So 9 months ago, after an entire month of tortuous hesitancy, I finally got myself to a CMA meeting one Saturday afternoon. I felt relieved that I had arrived after people had introduced themselves, and glad that the only empty chairs were in the last row: the “observer” position. My major response was “What the hell is going on here?!” Why does everyone have to call themselves an addict, tweaker, or dope fiend every time they say their name? Why does everyone have to say their name every time they speak? [Short term memory deficit?] How come some participants say such devastatingly painful things and nobody speaks up to comfort them? Why does someone with vision problems or a speech deficit have to read the 12 steps and someone else who sounds like he's still tweaking have to read the 12 traditions? After all, they're on the wall for everyone to read during the entire meeting. When the time came to get in a circle, hold hands, and say the serenity prayer, I wanted to crawl out of my skin. I couldn't get the word “God” out without gagging, so I skipped it and self-consciously mumbled the rest. I made a beeline for the door and fled.
Although the final admonition to “keep coming back – it works if you work it” fell on skeptical ears, I felt dutiful about my “fieldwork” and recognized that a sample of one was inadequate. The next time I strategically positioned myself behind a column that blocked me from the leader's line of sight so I would not be called upon other than to mumble my name and “addict” identifier. Little sunk in during the next couple of meetings because I was by then completely preoccupied by desperately trying to figure out the principles of a “good share.” I was relieved to learn that it was acceptable to say “I pass.” But by my third or fourth meeting, a leader must have seen my extreme discomfort, looked my way, and called on the “guy in the white t-shirt.” After desperately looking around in the hope that someone else was similarly attired, I knew I had to bite the bullet. I thought he was hot, so I didn't want to be a wimp and pass. I mumbled something as unmemorable to me as to the other people in the meeting.
After less than a handful of meetings I was starting to wonder why every meeting began with such long and drawn out readings, sometimes by such inept readers. By then, some of what people were saying got through the anxious mental chatter inside my own skull, and I was starting to feel uneasy about all the “God-talk,” since I still was on the verge of gagging every time I had to say the G-word – at least twice per meeting. It wasn't long before I found myself in a meeting where the Lord's Prayer was substituted for the serenity prayer, and that made me think “this isn't just a cult, it's a Christian cult.”
But by then, the enthusiastically-chanted phrase “honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness” had begun to sink in. I like to fancy myself having those attributes – despite ample evidence to the contrary – so I stuck around. And as the volume of internal chatter subsided slightly, I also noticed something. Almost everyone else in the meeting seemed to be having a great time. I heard people talking about changes that sounded nothing short of astonishing and found myself thinking “What sort of Kool-Aid are these people drinking? They must be on Prozac, in very high doses.” Despite differences in the specifics, almost everyone seemed to be reading off the same script. Life on crystal meth was wretched or worse. One way or another they made their way into the Program, and – even in tough times – life is better than ever now. Brainwashing? Groupthink? Cult? No matter how much I turned up the sensitivity of my b.s. detector, I thought not.
I continued to go to a few meetings a week for a little over a month, when an acquaintance in another fellowship suggested that I read the Narcotics Anonymous basic text. Days later, wandering into a used book store, a copy all but fell off the shelf into my hands. That began a parallel process of reading both NA and AA literature and other material that convinced me I wanted to get a sponsor and start working the steps. But that's another, parallel, story. The essence of that story is that I came to understand the spiritual malady that both predated and perhaps preordained active drug addiction, and to recognize that a spiritual malady requires a spiritual remedy.
Talking with prospective sponsors, one challenged me to go to 90 meetings in 90 days. I balked, whined, felt overwhelmed, and – fortunately – got a grip on myself and recognized the truth of what he said: that it was a minor effort in comparison to the rigmarole necessary to assure an uninterrupted drug supply. He also told me – my naivete and literal-mindedness seems ridiculous in retrospect – that, yes, it was OK for me to go to Cocaine Anonymous meetings even though I hadn't been a cocaine or crack user, and that even though methamphetamine is not, strictly speaking, a narcotic, I would not be ejected from Narcotics Anonymous meetings.
I learned that every morning at 7 am there's a Cocaine Anonymous meeting a mere 10 blocks from home. Although by then I had established a sobriety date, I marked that first meeting in my mental calendar as my “recovery date,” because – more than at any other meeting – I actually felt, as much as I heard, recovery. And I began to believe – not just in the Program but in the power of faith in God. In a loud, rowdy, raucous room of 30 – 70 people, where side-conversations are the norm not the exception, every meeting includes a handful of newcomers as well as members with 20 and more years' clean time who continue to show up every morning, day after day, week after week, month after month. Many of them share at least a few times a week and, every time they do, it's just as passionate. And every share reveals a different facet of how to live a life in recovery long term. More than once a week I'm moved to tears by something I hear there. Over the months, I've seen people change before my very eyes, from angry to temperate, from disheveled to well-groomed, from pained to happy. Other than when I've been out of town or had a conflict with school, I haven't missed a meeting in 6 months: my days would feel somehow misshapen if they didn't begin there.
From that experience, I learned a lesson that has proven correct again and again, but one that I seem to have to re-learn again and again: the advice I least want to take is the advice I most need.
Gradually my self-absorption dissipated enough so that I didn't spend entire meetings figuring out a perfectly-organized speech when I shared. I learned that the less premeditated, the more “real” and spontaneous, the better. And with that slight diminution in trying to “sound good” I was able to listen better and watch more closely what was happening around me. I saw how the people with more clean time attached themselves to newcomers. I saw how meeting secretaries and leaders asked newcomers or other people who seemed more withdrawn or tentative to read, so that even if they didn't feel comfortable sharing they had a place and a voice in meetings. If nothing else, that made me a lot more tolerant of hearing the same readings at every meeting, even when the reader stumbled over every second or third word. In those subtle ways, I realized, the fellowships reach out and take care of their own.
As I became accustomed to prefacing every interjection with “Michael … addict” or “Michael … tweaker,” I felt much more grateful than puzzled or irritated: my memory for names is so atrocious that the only way I was going to learn them was by hearing them repeated over and over and over again. By the time meeting commitments expired and were to be reshuffled, I had come to consider them a gift – an opportunity to become more involved in the fellowship and more committed to and engaged in my own recovery process. I felt grateful that, as a newcomer, I was invited to accept commitments at four meetings a week. Beginning every day with a meeting, plus commitments at four evening and afternoon meetings, plus a couple of other meetings I liked going to regularly, meant that by day 90 my attendance tally was probably twice that number. More important, I felt no urge to slacken the pace.
In my drug using days, travel meant assembling a list of bars, bathhouses, cruisy parks and beaches, and smoke shops likely to sell drug paraphernalia. Nowadays, I download 12-step meeting schedules. I arrange mealtimes and visits with friends or relatives around meeting times. I hear people in the fellowship talk about people in meetings getting on their nerves so much they stop going to particular meetings. I try to use those responses for self-diagnosis, for I believe that whatever is bothering me is probably some reflection of myself that I'd rather not look at. Sometimes I find myself feeling less than enthusiastic about going. I think about the “old timers” at my morning meeting who “suit up and show up” every day, day after day – some of whom struggle painfully up and down a flight of stairs to that basement – and laziness becomes repugnant. I remind myself that if it weren't for the other fellowship members who keep coming back so someone's there for the newcomers, the rooms would have been empty when I first sought them out. Most of the time, no matter how I felt about going to a meeting beforehand, I'm happy when I'm there: more so all the time as I see more and more familiar faces of people I am beginning to think of as friends. And when I leave feeling ill at ease, I know enough to recognize that it spotlights something I need to look at: maybe I felt rejected, neglected, criticized, preoccupied, tongue-tied. Those very symptoms tell me I must keep coming back.

Michael G.

Events Committee Meeting Report

2010-05-27T11:41:00.000-07:00

Here are the notes from our meeting of the Events Committee on Tuesday.

The topics of discussion were,
The Love and Service one day conference on June 19th.
The Sober Softball and Barbeque on July 10th
The Spiritual Retreat on October 8,9,10.
"Get out of the Gutter" upcoming bowling on a tuesday evening.

The June 19th event at the LAX/El Segundo Hilton Garden Inn will start with volunteers arriving at 12 noon to facilitate set up.
Terry and Timo and an additional person will be helping with the welcome table.
Paul will be in charge of signage, making sure that the signs are up and current.
The room setup will be graciously guided by Eduardo. This will include making sure that the room is in good order and the speaker knows where and when to arrive. Timo and others will help greet people into the room.

This will continue throughout the three workshops:

Working the 12 steps with a sponsor
How the 12 Traditions can guide your group
Understanding the 12 concepts of world service and the CMA world service manual.

(People can also attend the CMA General Service Organization meeting happening parallel to the workshops)

There will also be a table for H&I to present its literature as well as offer a place for people to sign up to speak on panels.
Also, there will be a table for CMA literature ( a volunteer is needed for this position)

After the workshops we will have an ice cream social that will be facilitated by the Hotel with a suggested donation accepted by participants.

For the main meeting, Nick will set up. There is still a need for greeters.
Our leader will be Freddie and the Speaker will be a member of the Board of Trustees of CMA who will be visiting from out of town.

I will be looking into several key issues with the hotel, such as parking cost and whether sound is free or we need to bring it. If we must supply our own sound, Freddie will bring his amp.

The July 10th Softball event will be a Softball Game and Barbeque.

We are still looking into a location for this event. Tenatively we are looking into Pan Pacific Park, Elysian Park and the Rio De Los Angeles Park. If anyone has any additional ideas please let me know.

Hopefully we will have participation from Long Beach and make this a LB vs LA softball matchup.

We will need a Softball leader and a Barbeque leader to organize these parts of this event.

The October 8th 9th and 10th retreat planning is underway.
We will be paying a 500.00 deposit this week and securing the location.
Dixon will be organizing the registration effort with an online component. Possibly on Shutterfly as well as our website. I will make up the registration form to help Dixon with his registration duties.
Freddie and Dale (and hopefully Digby) will be part of the Program Committee.

The cost is 175.00 for the weekend. This will include meals but bedding and pillows must be brought with participants.

This is a spiritual retreat at a Zen Meditation Center so the atmosphere is one of tranquility and introspection. We will be trying to cultivate a supportive and loving atmosphere for spiritual development.

Possible Names:
Peaceful Beginnings
Conscious Contact: An 11th Step Prayer Meditation and Yoga Retreat
Spiritual Awakening
Awaken your Recovering Spirit! A retreat for spiritual awakenings.
Practicing the Presence

We also will be beginning to organize a 12 step Bowling night at the Lucky Strike Lanes in Hollywood. We can devise different games on many lanes and have contests and prizes. The best nights to have the place to ourselves is monday or tuesday nights.

Thank you all for your help. Looking forward to making these events a wonderful reality.

Dale

Disease or Brain Damage?

2010-05-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

I prefer to think that I have “brain damage”, rather than the “disease of addiction” - because I think my addiction is the direct result of my action in taking this drug over and over. While the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous speaks of a physical allergy to alcohol that alcoholics suffer from, I’m not sure this same phenomenon applies in my own experience with crystal meth. I don’t know too many people who can take it or leave it - they seem mostly to run fast in the other direction, or jump in whole hog. A doctor once told me that his patients who used crystal all eventually discovered that they had to stop doing it - some discovered this quickly, before much damage had been done, just because they feared its power. The other group discovered they had to stop once they had experienced incomprehensible demoralization, and hit some form of bottom. So in my opinion - and I wager science would prove this out - the range of experience among the general population with crystal meth is much different than the range of experience in the general population with alcohol.

Nevertheless, I can’t drink alcohol and stay sober. My relapse emerged over a period of a year or two, during which I stopped participating in CMA, moved from New York to LA, left behind my supportive circle of fellow spiritual practitioners (many of whom first met in CMA), and decided that my own will power would be enough to keep me safe. I had stayed clean for 10 years; surely this gave me some power. I first made a decision to leave the program, then a few months later smoked pot, then a few months later drank some wine, then one or two cocktails. None of this appeared problematic at the time.

But then the moment arrived, that I had long heard foretold, when there was nothing between me and my drug of choice but my higher power. And at the moment I had no access to my higher power. I picked up crystal meth, and the same pattern re-emerged within several weeks time. I again ended up in a situation of incomprehensible demoralization. Fortunately, I knew where the solution was waiting for me, as it had worked before some 11 years prior. The mistake I made was thinking I could take my will back, and do this on my own - I could not, because my damaged brain quickly resorted to the familiar ways of thinking that led me to a moment of desparation, my second bottom.

My experience, however, is not so different from someone with only a little clean time who decides to drink, then is on the phone to the crystal dealer in half an hour. In my case the same chain of events played out, but much more slowly.

So today I abstain from alcohol - and the rest - in order that it be possible that I abstain from crystal meth.

John T.

When Traditions Collide

2010-05-15T17:18:00.000-07:00

Tradition 10 reads: Crystal Meth Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues, hence the CMA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.

Tradition 5 reads: Each group has but one primary purpose; to carry its message to the addict that still suffers.

At first glance it would seem that the choice of Phoenix as the venue of the 2011 CMA World conference should be unaffected by the recent law—passed but not yet in effect—that will require police to check the paperwork of anyone who can be “reasonably suspected” of being in the United States illegally. I believe, however, this “outside issue” is an “inside issue,” as it could seriously impact a segment of our fellowship.

Living in Los Angeles, I’ve known more than a few addicts who do not have, to put it nicely, all of their immigration paperwork in order. One, in fact, happens to be my sponsee, Eduardo (not his real name). For years he had a green card. But such authorizations lapse. In his case, this expiration was part of the wreckage of his active addiction. He’s been clean for almost a year now, but it will be a while before he makes enough money for the necessary legal fees to regularize his status.

What if Eduardo—who looks and sounds very Mexican—wanted to be of service by attending the 2011 Conference? Is he supposed to have to worry about walking to a coffee shop to fellowship, in case he is arrested and deported because his paperwork is not in order?

I would like for laws such as this to genuinely be “outside issues.” But in my opinion, it threatens our singleness of purpose and unity as a fellowship, by creating distinctions between addicts based on our immigration status. None of us, by definition, make it into CMA without breaking the law countless times. Can we afford to acquiesce in the marginalization of any member of our fellowship on that basis? We don’t do it when we take meetings into jails and prisons, and we certainly shouldn’t do it by holding our conferences in a city that could jeopardize some of our attendees.

The committees making the determination of venue for the conference are responsible to those they serve—meaning each and every one of us. If you feel, as I do, that our singleness of purpose is a higher spiritual principle than running the risking of appearing to have an opinion on an outside issue, please let your feelings be known. If you disagree, by all means share them as well. This decision should be made with as much input from as many of you as possible—that’s how we do things.

Mark O.

GSR Report - May 2010

2010-05-10T07:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

I want to thank all those who attended the district meeting. Thank you for enduring the elements and I want to assure you that we secured the room for the next three months so no more park benches.

So there are a few up coming things that we need to get the word out about.

The Information and Outreach committee needs your support to get the word out about CMA. There are several commitments open so please contact Roger D through the CMAinLA.com website if you want to be of service. We need a parolee liaison as well as people to distribute CMA information to local distribution points.

Hospitals and Institutions
The H&I sub committee is growing and panel leaders are needed as new H & I panels come on line. Please consider being of service once a month by leading a panel if you have a year or more. Please consider speaking on a panel if you have 6 months or more. We need your help and helping others is how we stay sober!
Also, if your meeting doesn't have an H & I Liaison who attends the monthly H & I meeting, please see if your meeting would like to make that an elected commitment. It is another way for your meeting to allow someone to step up into service and save their lives. They are asked to attend one monthly meeting at the weho recovery center and make announcements about H & I at their meeting.

CMA Help Line
The next phone line training will be on the 24th of May at 6pm at 6018 Carlton Way #2 Hollywood 90028
Any CMA member with 1 year or more can learn how to answer the CMA phone line from their cell phone. Phone calls are forwarded to them for a 4 hour shift once a week. They will be trained on how to guide callers to CMA meetings. It is a great way to be of service.

Upcoming Events
The next event is the "Love and Service" event on June 19th. A gathering of CMA members from all over the country will center around 3 workshops.
"Working the 12 steps with a sponsor."
"Applying the 12 traditions to your group."
and "Understanding the CMA Service Manual and the 12 Concepts of World Service."
This will be followed by an ice cream social and a speaker meeting. It all starts at 1pm on June 19th at the
Hilton Garden Inn El Segundo.
The address and phone number are
2100 East Mariposa Avenue
El Segundo, CA 90245
(310) 726-0100
There will be a small donation accepted.

We are planning a day of Softball and fellowship for July 10th. Anyone who wants to be of service for this event please contact Dale G through the cmainla.com website. This will be a chance for LA and Long Beach to get together and have fun bringing the whole fellowship together. We are planning a softball game and barbeque. The location will be announced soon.

We have chosen a location and a time for the Los Angeles CMA spiritual retreat. We are planning on early October in Idylwilde. If all goes as planned, the cost will be 160.00 per person for the entire weekend including meals. It is at a Zen meditation center and more information will follow. Please contact Dale G if you want to secure your reservation and/or be of service.

Remember - All GSR's are requested to attend the California Area Assembly Saturday May 22nd at 1:30 pm at the Fullerton Alano Club
530 W Commonwealth Ave
Fullerton CA
Take the Euclid Exit off of the 91 freeway.
714-992-0988
We will be discussing issues of great importance to the California area.

Thank you for being of service.

GSR Meeting/April 10 2010

2010-04-12T08:48:00.000-07:00

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday April 10, 2010
Hello CMAer’s,
Thanks to all that attended the meeting. We have a lot of work to do. Let’s get the word out.

• * Register: Attention all members that hold commitments at a meeting, district or world level; please go to crystalmeth.org and register your position and what meeting you represent.
• * Get into service: The district is growing and now it’s time for its members to step up and get into service. Currently we have a solid GSR base and we have committee leaders. What we need are members to serve on these committees. The following is a list of upcoming meetings that any member can attend and be of service.
1. Public outreach and information: Join Roger D. and be part of a team spreading the word of CMA throughout the community on Thursday April 22nd at 543 N. Fairfax 6:00 pm.
2. Helpline: Join Chuck C. and take a 4 hour shift answering the helpline. The next meeting is on Monday April 26th
3. Events planning: Join Dale G. on Cinco de Mayo (May 5th). The Los Angeles District has been asked to host the annual conference of the CMA world GSO. We will be putting together a 1 day event with workshops, a banquet, a speaker meeting and possibly a dance. The event is set for June 19th at the El Segundo Hilton. We are also on the planning stages of our first L.A. retreat tentatively set for October.
For the location of meetings 2 & 3, please talk to your GSR’s at the end of your meetings and they will forward your phone number to the committee chairs.
• * All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested in any other committees go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of join us at the next district meeting.
• Mark O. - The Blog: If you would like to submit your view on a CMA related topic, please go to cmainla.blogspot.com. You can write directly to editorcmainla@gmail.com
• * Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Beginners Group 1733 N New Hampshire Ave. Los Angeles.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Wednesday: Sex and Relationships 8:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Thursday: CMA book (Unspun Stories of Hope) reading meeting 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Saturday: 8:00 pm Crystal Clear Methage @ Unit A 10641 Burbank Blvd. in North Hollywood.
New Meeting Sunday: The Internet: Sobrieties Dirty Little Secret 2:00 pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30 pm @ 1403 4th Street Long Beach.
• Marvin M. - Registration/Directory: The spring 2010 directory is available. Fresh copies can be picked up at the monthly district meeting or you can go to CMAINLA.COM to download it.
• Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I: We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday May 8, 2010, at 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center, 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.
Long Beach H&I is coming soon.
• Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature and in addition we will be adding the NYCMA sex in sobriety pamphlet with their kind permission. Directories and newcomer packets are also available. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday May 8, 2010 @10am Plummer Park West Hollywood

New Meeting

2010-03-29T13:01:00.001-07:00

Do you still have issues with the internet, hook-ups, dating and sobriety?

There a new meeting for you at:

The AT Center

Sundays at 2:OO pm

Starting April 11

ALL 12-STEP FELLOWSHIPS WELCOME

God has no Gender

2010-03-13T22:59:00.000-08:00

To my deep shock, someone has suggested changing the gender neutral reference to "God" in the CMA steps to "him."

I remember approaching the CMA founder, Bill C., at a pool party once in my first year of sobriety. I wanted to specifically thank him for wording the steps as he did. I had always--and still do--find the use of "him" in AA and NA to be very alienating. Many of us wrestle enough with a belief in God as it is; we hardly need to think in terms of the petulant and paternal figure most of us were brought up with. Using "he" or "him" represents an unthinking patriarchal tradtion at best; at worst, an acute poverty of imagination. Bill Wilson could hardly be expected to think in broader terms in the 1930s; in 2010, such narrowness of thinking is inexcusable.

I urge any reader who feels as I do to register his or her objection to any change as strongly and often as I intend to in as many venues as possible. It is too important that CMA provides as welcoming and inclusive sense of what constitutes spirituality to move toward a more reductive vocabulary. As it is, addicts grab onto whatever we can to rationalize not getting better. This is the precisely the kind of retrogressive change that would turn more people off when the need is as great as it's ever been to inspire and to extend our helping hand.

I'm not always sure I believe in God, but I am sure of one thing. If there is a God it is not a he or a she.

Mark O.

GSR Meeting Saturday March 13, 2010

2010-03-13T22:53:00.000-08:00

• * Register: Attention all members that hold commitments at a meeting, district or world level; please go to crystalmeth.org and register your position and what meeting you represent.
• * Area Assembly: We will be having area assemblies throughout the year where we will meet with all GSR and district members throughout California in order to learn more about the future of CMA and to bring the concerns of our district to the world level. The first area assembly will be on March 28th at 3:00pm in LA at Plummer Park (7377 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood) directly following the annual CMALA convention.
• * Chuck C. - Helpline: The next help line sign up & training day is on Wednesday March 24th from 6:00 pm -7:30 pm at the home of Freddie D. and Jonathan C. Please attend if you are interested in taking a shift answering the help line. The shifts are 4 to 8 hours each and the help line number will be forwarded automatically to your phone (cell or home). Go to cmainla.com under contact us and send Chuck C an e-mail.
• * CMA World Conference reports:
1. The service manual: The executive committee went through the service manual and made a few adjustments. This manual is currently a living document that has not yet been voted in. However, the fellowship may start referring to it in order to form more of a unity throughout our program. The manual will be available soon for viewing at crystalmeth.org.
2. The Book: the current title is Unspun. Stories of Hope from Crystal Meth Anonymous. Currently, copies of the manuscript have been handed out for review and feedback from the fellowship at large (there are only 100 copies and these books are not to be copied). They want to hear from as many members as possible and unless there is an overwhelming concern to change something, this book will be voted in for approval as official CMA literature at the next world conference. If anyone is interested in starting a book study, there are members in LA that would be willing to attend and share their copies of the book with you. Please contact us if you are interested.
3. God, Him and the steps: a motion was made to change the steps to recognize God as a “Him”. Currently our steps are gender neutral. No decisions have been made because this is a topic that needs the word of the fellowship at large. We have approximately 500 + meetings a week in 41 states, Canada and Australia. CMA world wants to hear from the groups in order to come up with some kind of consensus. CMA does not take these matters lightly and will not even consider a move until it’s heard from a majority of our fellowship as a whole.
4. The next world conference will be in Phoenix, Arizona in March, 2011. If you are interested in being on a subcommittee or just attending go to Crystalmeth.org and watch for updates. I guarantee you that you won’t regret being a part of this process.
• * All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of.
• Roger D. - Information & outreach: The next postcard distribution day will be in April (TBA) in Long Beach. Please contact him at cmainla.com under contact us to join the crew.
• Marvin M. - Registration/Directory: The spring directory will be coming out with in the next week or so. If you want to get some for your meetings please send him an e-mail through cmainla.com under contact us.
• Dale G. - Events: March 17 for 8:00-10:30 pm we will be having a roller skate night to bring in St. Patrick’s Day. This is a fund raiser and all proceeds will go to benefit the district. The location is Moonlight Rollerway 5110 San Fernando Rd Glendale, Ca. 91204 818-241-3630. We are also getting closer to locking in our first retreat for this district. We will have more info on that by the next GSR meeting.

• Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I: We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday April 10, 2010, at 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center, 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.
Long Beach H&I is coming soon.
• Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature, directories and newcomer packets for our district. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com.
• Meetings that need support are:
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Thursday: Speaker/Step Study 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
New Meeting Sunday: Internet Sobrieties Dirty Little Secret starts on April 11th 3pm @1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
• A copy of this report can be found on cmainla.blogspot.com
The next GSR meeting is on Saturday April 10, 2010 @10am Target Center West Hollywood (the south west corner of La Brea and Santa Monica Blvd.)

St. Patty's Day Skate

2010-03-04T21:59:00.000-08:00

Hello Everyone!

It is all set. Please announce our St. Pattys Day Skating event on March 17th at Moonlight Rollerway in Glendale! Skating goes from 8 till 10:30. The cost is 12.00 and we are going to have a blast! I will send out the flyer by tomorrow and we will have flyers to pass out by Monday. Hope everyone can spread the word!

Moonlight Rollerway is at:

5110 San Fernando Rd
Glendale CA 91204
818-241-3630

Dear Tina

2010-03-01T17:34:00.001-08:00

I am writing this letter to you to let you know our relationship is over. I can no longer let you ravage my roguish good looks or poison my mind. A mind that wanted nothing but more of you has gone to focus on me for a while. I thank you for the inspiration you have given my art, you have been my muse and God knows you’re good in bed, but I need more.
I need the sun on my face and real friends. You always said I would be nothing without you, but I can’t live in your shadow anymore. I have no desire to be one of your ”boys.” We have had so many adventures together it’s hard not to look back with fondness, but I can’t forget what I let you steal from me either.
When we met I had friends, lovers, a home, art supplies and like you, many fans, but I gave them each up to you as a sign of my love and commitment. You filled a hole in me for a long time, many holes in fact and I thank you.
I guess I should let you know I have a new Love. He is Spirit and he makes me feel things you never could. He does not lie to me. I feel whole in His arms and the desire to live has replaced the desire to die I eventually found with you.
I know about your other lovers and pray they wake up to your deceit and selfish needs. You were so beautiful once to me, but have lost that power and glow. And I have gotten mine back.
We were just kids but it’s time to grow up. I finally see you for who you are, A selfish, self-centered hypocrite that cares only for herself and not if I live or die.
Jay L.
P.S. My family hates you.

2010-02-18T18:46:00.000-08:00

March 26 – 28, 2010
Plummer Park
West Hollywood Community Center
7377 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
The CMALA Convention is a 3-day celebration of sobriety held every spring in Los Angeles, CA, where Crystal Meth Anonymous was started in 1995. Everyone desiring to lead a life free of addiction to crystal meth is welcome. We encourage you to attend. Your paid registration for this 12 Step-focused weekend of fun and fellowship includes:
• Friday evening ice cream social and speaker meeting
• Sobriety workshops all-day Saturday
• Saturday evening speaker meeting, banquet and entertainment
• Sunday morning lavish brunch and gratitude panel meeting (followed by an open business meeting)
To help make this already awesome event even more attractive, the 2010 CMALA Convention is offering a $10 discount for registration prior to the event.
• $40.00/Person - Advanced Discount Registration 1/1/10 through 3/12/10
After 3/12/09, registration for the 2010 convention will only be available on-site for the full price of $50.00/person. To help carry the message to those in need, scholarship support will be available on-site by request for local residents.
We offer online registration, mail-in registration or pay at the door options for attendees. Please select from online registration or mail-in registration to ensure your space at the 2010 Convention.
Visit cmala.org for additional information.

GSR Meeting, February 13, 2010

2010-02-15T08:02:00.000-08:00

Hello CMAer’s,
CMA in LA is rocketing into the next dimension and it’s thanks to all of you that are of service! We had another powerful meeting and here are the key points.

• Thanks to Bob P. (helpline) and Brian L. (webmaster) for their service. We would like to welcome Chuck C. as our new helpline chair and Terry D. as our new webmaster.
• * Training day: On Saturday February 27th from 11:30 am -1:30 pm at the Target Center (the south west corner of La Brea and Santa Monica Blvd.), we will be having a help line training seminar for those members that would like to be of service and take a shift answering the help line. The shifts are 4 to 8 hours each and the help line number will be forwarded automatically to your phone (cell or home). After the training we intend to start forwarding the number.
• * Pre-CMA World Conference Meeting: Directly following the help line training seminar on February 27th from 1:45 pm -3:00 pm at the Target Center (the south west corner of La Brea and Santa Monica Blvd.), we will be conducting a meeting for any CMA member that wants to know the agenda. This is your opportunity to bring any questions and/or concerns you would like for us to address at the conference.
• The annual CMA World Conference will be held in New York City from March 4th – 7th, 2010. Registration is $75.00 Go to crystalmeth.org for more information.
• * All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of.
• Roger D. - Information & outreach: The next postcard distribution day will be in April (TBA) in Long Beach. Please contact him at rogerdelacruz@sbcglobal.net to join the crew.
• Chuck C. - Helpline: Mark M. and Freddie D. will be assisting Chuck C. with the help line training so we can make as smooth of transition as possible.
• Marvin M. - Registration/Directory: The Winter 2010 Directory is still available. It can be viewed and printed online at cmainla.com. There are physical copies for your meetings. They are available for twenty cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. There is a growing list of new meetings that he will be adding in the next month for the upcoming spring 2010 edition.
• Dale G. - Events: In conjunction with the Desert Cities District, you are all invited to join in a one night ski trip at Big Bear’s Snow Summit. The event will be on February 27th departing from L.A. around 3:00 pm. For further info contact Dale G. by going to cmainla.com under contacts.
• Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I: We are looking for speakers to visit recovery houses to share their experiences. Invite your sponsees to join as well. To sign up, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday March 13, 2010, at 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center, 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.
Long Beach H&I is coming soon.
• Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are seven approved pieces of literature, directories and newcomer packets for our district. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary, or GSR about obtaining these items. The literature is also available as a download PDF at cmainla.com.

• Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00pm @ 5715 Broadway in downtown Los Angeles.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Thursday: Speaker/Step Study 8:15 pm @ 1773 Griffith Park Blvd. Los Angeles.
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30pm @ Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Saturday: Milestones 7:00pm @ 10544 Downey Ave. in Downey
Saturday: There is a Solution 4:30pm @1403 E 4th St. Long Beach
Saturday: Stayin’ Alive 7:00 pm @ 2530 Hyperion Ave. in Silver Lake.
Saturday: Crystal Clear Methage 8:00 @ 10641 Burbank Blvd. North Hollywood.
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm @West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.

The next GSR meeting is on
Saturday March 13, 2010 @10am
Plummer Park 7377 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood (location subject to change).
Freddie D.

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday January 9, 2010

2010-01-10T23:20:00.000-08:00

Hello CMAer’s,
Thanks to all of you that attended our last GSR meeting. It was awesome! Here are the key points.
• Thanks to Ari U. for his service as our registration /directory chair for well over 2 years. We would like to welcome Marvin M. to the committee. He will be taking over from Ari.
• The district is in need a new webmaster. If you have experience and you are interested in this commitment, please come to our next meeting.
• The annual CMA World Conference will be held in New York City from March 4th – 7th, 2010. Registration is $75.00 and there are hotel rooms available for $139.00 per night at The Gem Hotel (price good until Jan. 20th, 2010). Go to crystalmeth.org for more information.
• All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of.
• Roger D. - Information & outreach: The next post card distribution day to get the word out about the help line will be noon on Tuesday January 26 at Plummer Park. Those who would like to be of service, please come out. Roger expressed that he really can use help on this committee. Please contact him at rogerdelacruz@sbcglobal.net to join the crew.
• Bob P. - Helpline: It’s a new year and it’s time to take the helpline to the next level. We will be having a training day and signing people up to answer the help line. The helpline is currently being manned by one person and the time has come to expand. This is a great commitment and quite possibly one of the most important commitments. Information about the upcoming training will be available in the next week or so.
• Marvin M. - Registration/Directory: The winter 2010 directory is here. It can be viewed and printed online at cmainla.com. There are physical copies for your meetings. They are available for twenty cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. If a meeting is low on funds, the district will cover the cost.
• Dale G. - Events: By our next GSR meeting there full scope of upcoming events including retreats, dances, pool parties and skate nights.
• Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I report: If you do not have an H&I Liaison, please talk to your secretaries about adding this commitment and appointing someone to take it. H&I are always looking for people with 5 years or more that would like to speak on panels at the jails. In the last month five people were cleared to speak on CMA Jail Panels.
Our committee will be helping to start H&I in Long Beach.
If you are interested in speaking on a panel, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday February 13, 2010, at 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.
• Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Chips & literature are always available at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy edition of the big book is available for $2.00 apiece. There are 7 approved pieces of literature, directories and newcomer packets for our district. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s. If you notice that literature tables at your meetings are low on CMA literature, please talk to your literature person, secretary and GSR about obtaining these items.
• Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00pm @ 5715 Broadway in downtown Los Angeles.
Saturday: Step into the Solution 9:10am @ The Village 1125 N. McCadden Pl.
Saturday: Crystal Clear 2:30pm @ The Weho D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Saturday: Milestones 7:00pm @ 10544 Downey Ave. in Downey
Saturday: There is a Solution 4:30pm @1403 E 4th St. Long Beach
Sunday: Stepping Forward 4:30pm @1403 E 4th St. Long Beach
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm @West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.

• The next GSR meeting is on Saturday February 13, 2010 @10am Plummer Park 7377 Santa Monica Blvd. West Hollywood.

Yours in Service,
Freddie

GSR Meeting 12-13-09

2009-12-14T09:33:00.000-08:00

Hello CMAer’s,

Thanks to all of you that attended our last GSR meeting of the year. Here are the key points.

Being of service, Freddie

The annual CMA World Conference will be held in New York City from March 4^th – 7^th, 2010. Registration is $75.00 and there are hotel rooms available for $139.00 per night at The Gem Hotel (price good until Jan. 20^th, 2010). Go to crystalmeth.org for more information.
CMA in LA has a cool interactive blog. The monthly GSR report, events and great stories from our members are posted to keep us in the know. Go to the cmainla newsletter link at our web-site (cmainla.com) to access or refer to it directly at cmainla.blogspot.com.
All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of.
Roger D. - Information & outreach: There will be a post card distribution day to get the word out about the help line. Those who would like to be of service, please meet on Monday Dec. 21, Plummer Park @ noon.
Bob P. - Helpline: The helpline is receiving around 3 calls per week. There will be a help-line training day early next year. Details to be announced.
Ari U. - Registration/Directory: The fall 2009 directory is here. It can be viewed and printed online at cmainla.com. There are physical copies for your meetings. They are available for twenty cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. If a meeting is low on funds, the district will cover the cost.
Dale G. - Events: retreat update: one option is at Yokoji in San Jacinto @ $80 per person min 15 people/ max 45 people.
Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I report: If you do not have an H&I Liaison, please talk to your secretaries about adding this commitment and appointing someone to take it.

A brand new H&I pamphlet was approved for local distribution at our meetings. They will be available soon.

H&I are always looking for people with 5 years or more that would like to speak on panels at the jails.

If you are interested in speaking on a panel, please attend the next meeting of H&I on Saturday December 12, 2009 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.

Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Chips & literature always available are at each GSR meeting. The little burgundy edition of the big book is here at a cost of $2.00 a piece. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s.
Joey C. - the newcomer packets: There are newcomer packets available at our monthly GSR meeting. Please let your GSR know how many you need for your meetings.
Meetings that need support are:

Monday: Steering Clear 12:00pm @ 5715 Broadway in downtown Los Angeles.

Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30pm @ Franks House 2530 Hyperion Avenue.

Thursday: Speaker Step Study @ 8:15pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.

Friday: Home Group @ 10:15pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.

Saturday: Step into the Solution @ 9:10am @ The Village 1125 N. McCadden Pl.

Saturday: Milestones @ 7:00pm @ 10544 Downey Ave. in Downey

Saturday: Tweakers with a Purpose @ 12:00pm @ Cherry Park in Long Beach.

Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.

Sunday: Round Robin east 7:00pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.

Coming soon: a new meeting that focuses on the triggers and dangers of the internet, sex sites and all.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday January 9, 2010 @10am at Plummer Park West Hollywood. Happy Holidays to all Meth free!

Early Registration for CMALA 2010

2009-12-08T13:09:00.000-08:00

CMALA 2010 has begun its registration.Check out our revised website, http://www.cmala.org/, for donations, information, and registration (online and mail in). Early Bird Registration is $30 until December 31st. Advanced Pre-registration is $40 from 1/1/10 to 3/12/10.

On site Registration is $50.

H&I Meeting

2009-12-08T13:06:00.000-08:00

Hello my Fabulous Fellows:
The next H&I meeting is this Saturday, December 12, at 1pm at the West Hollywood Recovery Center.
Please continue to invite our fellows to the H & I meeting to sign up for panels. I know the holiday season is very busy for all of us. It's also a perfect time for us to share our gift of experience, strength, and hope to those unable to attend our meetings.

If you do not have an H&I Liason here is some useful information to assist you with an announcement:The primary purpose of the Hospitals & Institutions Committee is to carry the Crystal Meth Anonymous message of recovery to individuals who are confined, restricted, or otherwise unable to attend a 12-Step CMA meeting. Many times, an H&I panel meeting is the first introduction to Crystal Meth Anonymous that many inmates, clients, or patients receive. An H&I panel is a 12-Step recovery meeting that takes place inside recovery homes, sober living environments, jails, treatment centers, hospitals or any other institution or facility where access to CMA meetings, for those inside, is limited or restricted.

Please invite your fellows with 6 months or more of recovery to join us at our H&I meeting to sign up for upcoming panels.Thank you for your service to district and the H&I Committee,

Roger D.

GSR Meeting Report, November 14, 2009

2009-11-16T09:08:00.000-08:00

Hello CMAer’s,
Thanks to all of you that attended our special outdoor GSR meeting. Here are the key points.

The annual CMA World Conference will be held in New York City from March 4th – 7th, 2010. Registration is $75.00 and there are hotel rooms available for $139.00 per night at The Gem Hotel (price good until Jan. 20th, 2010). Go to crystalmeth.org for more information.

CMA in LA has a cool interactive blog, "How We Do It." The monthly GSR report, events and great stories from our members are posted to keep us in the know. Go to the cmainla newsletter link at our web-site (cmainla.com) to access it or access it directly at:http://www.cmainla.blogspot.com/ Please write the editor (Mark O.) at editorcmainla@gmail.com to submit an entry, and don't hesitate to approach him with any ideas you have for an entry.

All committees are in need of volunteers. Volunteering is a great way to be of service and to give back to your community. If you are interested, go to cmainla.com and send a message to the chairman of the committee you would like to be a part of.

Roger D. - Information & outreach: Roger is looking for volunteers to help him distribute the helpline cards.

Bob P. - Helpline: The helpline is receiving around 3 calls a day. The time has come to expand. Coming soon we will be having a training class for the helpline.

Ari U. - Registration/Directory: The fall 2009 directory is here. It can be viewed and printed online at cmainla.com. There are physical copies for your meetings. They are available for twenty cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. If a meeting is low on funds, the district will cover the cost.

Dale G. - Events: A winter dance (possibly in Long Beach) and a bowling night are events to watch for in January. We will also have information within the next two months regarding L.A.’s first retreat set for sometime in 2010.

The resurrection dance and the skating night were highly successful and I would like to thank all those that volunteered and participated in these events.

Victor D. & Donald L. - H&I report: If you do not have an H&I Liaison, here is some useful information to assist you:

The primary purpose of the Hospitals & Institutions Committee is to carry the Crystal Meth Anonymous message of recovery to individuals who are confined, restricted, or otherwise unable to attend a 12-Step CMA meeting. Many times, an H&I panel meeting is the first introduction to Crystal Meth Anonymous that many inmates, clients, or patients receive. An H&I panel is a 12-Step recovery meeting that takes place inside recovery homes, sober living environments, jails, treatment centers, hospitals or any other institution or facility where access to CMA meetings, for those inside, is limited or restricted.
Please invite your fellows with 6 months or more of recovery to join us at our H&I meeting to sign up for upcoming panels. The next meeting is on Saturday December 12, 2009 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.

Kurt T. - Chips/Literature: Always available are chips & literature at each GSR meeting. We will also have a pocket-sized edition of the big book the (around $1.25 per copy). If you need these items you can come to the meeting or alert your GSR’s.Joey C. - the newcomer packets: There are newcomer packets available at our monthly GSR meeting. Please let your GSR know how many you need for your meetings.

Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Steering Clear 12:00pm @ 5715 Broadway in downtown Los Angeles.
Tuesday: Spinning into the Solution 7:30pm @ Franks House 2530 Hyperion Avenue.
Wednesday: Sex & Relationships 8:00pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Saturday: 7:00pm @ Franks House 2530 Hyperion Avenue
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.
Sunday Round Robin east 7:00pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.

The next GSR meeting is on Saturday December 12, 2009 @10am at Plummer Park West Hollywood.

Being of Service,
Freddie

Movie Night Cancelled

2009-11-10T08:43:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone. The CMALA committee has decided to reschedule the Movie on the Green II due to the weather being so cold and damp lately. We are going to wait until the beginning of next year and pick a date/time that will work better. Please continue to check the CMALA group for upcoming news and information. Online registration should be up and running soon so please take advantage of early bird registration of $30.
Once again- THANKS for your continued support of CMALA.
CMALA 2010 Committee

Skate Night

2009-11-04T23:12:00.001-08:00

Wed, Nov 11th, 8pm
Moonlight Rollerway
511o San Fernando Rd.
Glendale, CA 91204

Movie Night

2009-11-02T23:09:00.001-08:00

Event: Movie Night on the GREEN... Take 2
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show"
What: Fundraiser
Start Time: Saturday, November 14 at 7:00pm
End Time: Saturday, November 14 at 10:00pm
Where: Home of Terry G.

2009-10-12T07:28:00.000-07:00

Key Points from the GSR meeting on Saturday October 10, 2009
Hello CMAer’s,
I want to thank everybody that participated in the GSR meeting on Saturday October 10, 2009. We had a positive and productive meeting. Here are the key points.

Joey C. will be chair of a new sub-committee to chips and literature that will over se the production of the newcomer packets. That being said, we should have newcomer packets ready for distribution by the next GSR meeting.
Roger D. our information & outreach chair will be printing more copies of the hotline postcard for distribution. The hotline will need volunteers but not at this time.
Ari U., our registration/directory chair, will have the latest directory online at our website (CMAINLA.COM) and he has physical copies for your meetings. They are available for .20 cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. If a meeting is low on funds the district will cover the cost for your meeting. There are some new meetings that started in the last month or so and they will be added to the directory.
Dale G. events chair, is preparing for the annual Halloween dance on Friday October 23rd from 9 pm – 1 am featuring DJ Freddie D. and the undead costume contest featuring zombie drag queens from planet 13. There is a $10.00 suggested donation. The location is the haunted church at 1296 N. Fairfax Av. Weho CA 90046 (S.E. Corner of Fountain). Volunteers are needed! Please contact Dale G. if you want to be of service.
Other up coming events includes a roller skating night on Wednesday Nov. 4 (details coming soon), a holiday dance in December, and a bowling night in January. All these events are CMAINLA district fundraisers.
If anyone is interested in being a part of the planning process, please contact Dale G. (an e-mail can be left on the district website) to be a part of this committee.
The 15 year anniversary of CMA was a great success and we look forward to having an annual anniversary conference.
Victor D. & Donald L.’s H&I report: H&I takes panels to various recovery houses in the area. Every addict is qualified to speak if they have 6 months of recovery, have a sponsor and are working the steps. Guidelines for speaker conduct are available at the monthly H&I meeting, held on 2nd Saturday of month 1pm at the WEHO D&A Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd. Weho CA 90069.
Kurt T. has chips and literature available at each GSR meeting. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or let your GSR know what you need. We recently brought in a pocket-sized edition of the big book. If your meeting is interested in ordering them to add to the literature please let us know. Your GSR will be bringing a copy for your meeting to check out. The cost will be $2 or less a copy.
Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Promises 7pm @ NJWC 543 N. Fairfax Avenue.
Tuesday: Spinning into the solution 7:30pm @ Franks House 2530 Hyperion Avenue.
Wednesday: Sex & Relationships 8:00pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Thursday: Speaker step study 8:15pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Friday: Home group 10:15pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Saturday: Tweakers with a purpose 12:00pm Cherry Park in Long Beach.
Saturday: Step into the solution 9:10am @ The Village 1125 N. McCadden Place.
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.
Sunday Round Robin east 7:00pm @ AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
The next GSR meeting is on Saturday November 14, 2009 @10am.

Being of service, Freddie

Halloween Party

2009-10-08T12:40:00.000-07:00

We are gearing up for our Halloween Costume Extravaganza at Fountain and Fairfax on Friday October 23rd. On hand will be Music by DJ Freddie D...an amazing light and sound show...An Un-dead costume contest and performances by a host of Zombie Drag Queens from Planet 13. Prizes will be awarded to the best overall costume, best zombie tweaker, and best un-dead drag. The Church will be transformed into a haunted mortuary where the music will raise the dead. So spread the word that on Friday October 23rd there will be a thriller, chiller night at the haunted house of worship at Fairfax and Fountain. The party will start at 9pm until 1 am.

There are also volunteer opportunities to help decorate, set up and facilitate the performances so email me back with any names and numbers of those who want to help.
Thanks
Dale G.

CMA turns 15

2009-09-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

Come celebrate 15 years of CMA on October 3rd! Volunteers needed!

What is clean and sober, according to CMA

2009-09-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Bill C. had two models to choose from when setting up the fellowship of Crystal Meth Anonymous, those of Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous.

Narcotics Anonymous was started because many of the members of Alcoholics Anonymous considered drug use an outside issue, the discussion of which in meetings detracted from the singleness of purpose outlined in AA's traditions. This made for controversy and discomfort for drug addicts who needed the 12-step model, and Narcotics Anonymous was started.

Narcotics Anonymous literature uses the word "clean" instead of "sober" to connote abstinence from all mind-altering substances, but it is unequivocal in its insistence that alcohol is a drug. Although the burgeoning of crystal meth as a drug of choice prompted Bill C. to start a new fellowship, this terminology was adopted in our own literature. At the beginning of each meeting, we read a paragraph adapted directly from NA's How It Works: "Thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse...we cannot afford to be confused about this...alcohol is a drug, period. We are people with the disease of addiction who must abstain from all drugs in order to recover."

The Third Tradition also states "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop using." It does not state that someone is required to have stopped using or drinking, for that matter, in order to come to meetings. Many people come to the decision to stop over time, often because they were exposed to the support and recovery available to them in meetings.

However, what constitutes "clean time" in Crystal Meth Anonymous, as far as that which is acknowledged on a group level in the form of chips and birthday cakes, is clear. It is abstinence from all non-medically prescribed drugs, including alcohol.

Mark O.

Tues Night Meeting (Frank

2009-09-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Due to the recent event at the Tuesday night meeting at 2530 Hyperion Ave. Frank's House has asked that the meeting no longer take place there.
Efforts are underway to locate a new venue for this meeting and as soon as this has happened, this information will be shared here.

GSR Meeting, September 12, 2009

2009-09-13T20:19:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
I want to thank everybody that participated in the GSR meeting on Saturday September 12, 2009. We covered a lot of ground and here are the key points from the meeting.

• We had a change in officers: Tim P. is secretary, Dale G. is events chair and Roger D is information and out reach. Congratulations guys!
• At this time I would like to thank Sal I (out-going events chair), Tim P. (out-going information and out reach chair) for all their dedication and service to the committee.
• A new committee was formed called the advisee. This committee will be comprised of those officers that came before in order to help guide us with their knowledge of this program.
• Gary W, Chairman for PACMA gave a report from the monthly meeting that took place in San Diego on August 29th. They are working on developing an H&I committee that would help us to take panels to prisons state wide. They are also working on splitting California into two regions in order to have two votes from California at the world conference.
• Due to a recent event, a minority report was presented to us that reiterated our traditions and reaffirmed our readings clearly state that our program is a program of complete abstinence from all drugs and that alcohol is a drug period.
The unity of CMA is the most cherished quality our society has. Our lives and the lives of all who come depend on it. The CMA member has to conform to the principles of recovery. His/her life depends on obedience to spiritual principles.
When a meeting decides to by group conscience re-define sobriety by allowing someone to consume alcohol; then said meeting has veered from the traditions in CMA. It is their message and they are free to share it, but it is not the unified message of CMA. The minority report was forwarded to the GSO.
• Ari U., our registration/directory chair, has the new directory online at our website (CMAINLA.COM) and he has physical copies for your meetings. They are available for .20 cents a copy at our monthly GSR meeting. If a meeting is low on funds the district will cover the cost for your meeting.
• Dale G. events chair, will be overseeing the upcoming events lined up through January 2010. The first event will be the 15 year Crystal Anniversary of Crystal Meth Anonymous on Oct. 3rd at Plummer Park. This will be a one day conference from 8-4 which will include: 11th Step Yoga; the history, organization, and traditions of CMA; and four workshops (steps; sponsorship; experience, strength, and hope; & spirituality). There will also be a barbecue and a main speaker. From 8pm - 1am at the church at Fountain and Fairfax). On Sunday there will be a planned event to accommodate our out of town guests (no cost to the district).
Other events are: the annual Halloween dance on Friday Oct. 23rd at The Church on Fountain and Fairfax, a roller skating night on Wednesday Nov. 4, a holiday dance in December, and a bowling night in January. All these events are CMAINLA district fundraisers.
If anyone is interested in being a part of the planning process, please contact Dale G. (an e-mail can be left on the district website) to be a part of this committee.
• The Labor Day pool party on Monday September 7, 2009 at the Van Ness Recovery House was the first of an annual event.
• H&I
• Victor D - Chair
• Marc R. - Co-Chair
• Mark M. - Secretary
• Eddie S. - Treasurer
• Donald L. - County & State Liaison for incarceration facilities

• GSR's are requested to invite CMA members to attend & participate in the H&I meeting on the 2nd Saturday of the month if they would like to speak on panels.

Those interested in speaking on jail panels should have 5 years of sobriety and show their interest in the jail program by participating on the established panels that do not require clearance or on AA H&I panels.

H&I has accepted applications from about 12 members requesting jail clearance from LASD. One CMA member has already been cleared and has spoken on a jail panel. Other speakers on the CMA jail panels (held the 2nd & 4th Thursday of each month at MCJ since mid-July 2009) previously received LASD jail clearance through the fellowship of another 12 Step program.

It is no longer necessary to take phone numbers or messages from CMA members interested in H&I. Those that would like to participate should be invited to attend the monthly H&I meeting. It is listed in the directory.

If the GSR's home meeting has an H&I liaison already, please invite them to participate in the monthly meeting so they may be informed of H&I updates.

If the GSR's home meeting does not have an H&I liaison, please invite them to create the commitment in a manner the meeting sees fit.

H&I will follow the format of the 12 Step program our H&I meeting is modeled after. The H&I Chair & Co-Chair will choose new panel leaders from current H&I participants, as they are needed.

• Kurt T. has chips and literature available at each GSR meeting. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or let your GSR know what you need.
• Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Promises 7pm @ NJWC 543 N. Fairfax Avenue.
Tuesday: Relapse Prevention 8:30pm @ Cedars 8730 Alden Dr.
Wednesday: Sex & Relationships 8:00pm @ The AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Saturday: Step into the solution 9:10am @ The Village 1125 N. McCadden Place.
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.
Sunday: Sunday Morning CMA 9:30pm 1900 San Fernando Rd.
• The next GSR meeting is on Saturday October 10, 2009 @10am.

Being of service,
Freddie

H&I Panels

2009-09-07T14:52:00.000-07:00

GSRS:
If your meeting does not have an H&I liaison, please call a business meeting to decide:
1. If you want an H&I liaison
2. If you decide to have a liaison, take a vote to decide if it is an appointed position or an elected position
3. If it's an elected position, elect a a liaison or if it's an appointed position, appoint one.

Don't forget:

September H&I Meeting
Saturday, September 12, 2009
1pm @ West Hollywood Recovery Center
626 N. Robertson Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90069

Please continue to invite your fellows to sign up for panels.

Thank you,
Roger

Comments

2009-08-14T12:15:00.000-07:00

I have altered the parameters for commenting so that anyone can do so. I am hoping this does not lead to comment spam by automatic bots, and if that occurs, I may have to revert to only "registered" users -- i.e., people with gmail or several of the other choices.

Hopefully this change will lead to more commenting and more interactivity. Just click on "Anonymous" if you don't fall into any of the other categories.

Mark O.
Editor.

GSR Meeting

2009-08-09T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
I just want to thank everybody that participated in the GSR meeting on Saturday August 8, 2009. We covered a lot of ground and here are the key points from the meeting.

Elections were held and our new co-chairperson is Mark M. Our new Web-master is Brian L. We also have a new events chair: Sal I. Congratulation’s guys! Mark M. was appointed to continue his secretary through September 12, 2009. At that time the district will have a vote for this position.
At this time I would like to thank Donald L (out-going treasurer), Bob P. (out-going events chair) and Mark M. (out-going secretary) for all their dedication and service to the committee. You guys rock!
The by-laws have been reviewed by the district and no more changes were suggested. Therefore, they were officially voted in. This was our 3rd amendment to the by-laws and the district is officially 501 C.
Ari U., our registration/directory chair, will have the new directory online at our website (CMAINLA.COM) within the week and on Sunday August 9, 2009 he will have the newest version of the directory available to be picked up for your meetings at The AT Center and The West Hollywood Drug & Alcohol Center. That being said, if anyone knows of any meeting changes (I.E., meetings going dark, new meetings, location changes, etc.), please let Ari know by contacting him or leaving an e-mail on the website.
Sal I., our events chair, has some events lined up through January 2010.
The first event will be a celebration of 15 years of CMA set for Oct. 3rd at Plummer Park. This will be a one day conference from 8-4 which will include: 11th Step Yoga; the history, organization, and traditions of CMA; and four workshops (steps; sponsorship; experience, strength, and hope; & spirituality). There will also be a barbecue and a main speaker. From 8pm - 12am we will have a dance (location to be determined; possibly the church at Fountain and Fairfax). On Sunday there will be a planned event to accommodate our out of town guests (no cost to the district).

Other events are: the annual Halloween dance hosted by Glenn H on Friday Oct. 23rd, a roller skating night on Wednesday Nov. 4, a holiday dance in December, and a bowling night in January. All these events are CMA district fundraisers.

There is also a spiritual retreat event that is in the works.

If anyone is interested in being a part of the planning process, please contact Sal I. (an e-mail can be left on the district website) to be a part of this committee.

The H&I fundraiser/pool party on Sunday July 26, 2009 was a huge success. These funds were directly allocated to the H&I reserve. Thanks to everyone who participated and or volunteered in this event.

Victor D. & Donald L., our co-chairs for H & I, are looking for speakers for the panels that are going to the jails. They would like to get clearance for at least 12 people. The requirements are: no felonies, experience speaking on panels, and 5 years of recovery (the five year requirement is negotiable if a person shows willingness and experience in speaking on panels). There is also a need for panel leaders for two new panels that were lined up. If you are interested please attend the next H & I meeting on September 12, 2009 1PM at the West Hollywood D & A center. If you are at a meeting without an H&I liaison; please suggest a business meeting to add the commitment and appoint it to someone.

Kurt T. has chips and literature available at each GSR meeting. If you need these items you can come to the meeting or let your GSR know what you need.

Note: In honoring our 11th tradition, please refrain from posting pictures from CMA events using the CMA name on Internet mediums such as Facebook.

Meetings that need support are:
Monday: Promises 7pm @ NJWC 543 N. Fairfax Avenue.
Tuesday: Relapse Prevention 8:30pm @ Cedars 8730 Alden Dr.
Wednesday: Meditation 7:30pm @ The church (Fountain & Fairfax) 1296 N. Fairfax Avenue.
Wednesday: Full Speed Ahead 8pm @ the West Side Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.
Saturday: Step into the solution 9:10am @ The Village 1125 N. McCadden Place.
Sunday: Gracious Methers 4pm West L.A. Alano Club 11530 W. Pico Blvd.
Sunday Round Robin West 7:00pm Weho A & D Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
The next GSR meeting is on Saturday September 12, 2009 @10am.

Being of service,
Freddie

The Nature of the Beast

2009-08-03T20:59:00.000-07:00

In CMA one often hears “my disease wants me dead.” This may be true, but I think its more immediate goal is to make sure you are so preoccupied with the satisfaction of instinctual drives that you are cut off from any sense of spiritual contact with a God of your understanding. If killing you is required, the disease is more than willing, but keeping you high or numb is fine enough, as long as you’re thinking only of yourself.

I have found it very useful to conceive of the disease of addiction as having intelligence, even the capacity to think and strategize. I believe it occupies the same area in your brain your ego operates from, and has the capacity to parasitically engage all of your brainpower in manifesting its agenda of getting you loaded again.

In my experience, the disease doesn’t even always “object” to short periods of sobriety. (After all, it’s a great way to delude yourself you have things under control.) However, when your disease starts to sense that you really might do this sobriety thing, it starts to panic. Suddenly everything becomes a trigger; cravings mug you around every corner. When you get past that, it tries less obvious approaches, like finance and romance—“I’ll always be poor” and “I’ll never have a boyfriend” are favorite tapes my disease plays. As you stick to your guns, you can expect bouts with free-floating anxiety, boredom, and depression with no evident cause.

As your disease adjusts to the new reality of layers between you and picking up, it tries various back doors, to nudge you over to the chair next to the chair next to the hotseat. This most impatient of syndromes can actually be very patient. It can seem to lie dormant for years, but it’s lurking all the time, waiting for an opening.

It may seem irrational that to say that the disease is smarter than you, but it's not for nothing that we say “my best thinking got me here.” That’s why a power greater than oneself is an indispensable ally. Here’s something you can’t see, can’t touch, can’t weigh or measure---it’s the only thing more irrational than the disease itself. That just might be why it’s the very thing that works.

M.O.

From District Chair

2009-07-28T16:16:00.001-07:00

1. We would like to thank all that attended, volunteered and participated in the H&I pool party fund raiser. There was over 100 people in attendance and we were able to raise a nice donation for H&I. THANK YOU!
2. The district is in search of a new web master to maintain our web-site. This is a 1 year commitment. All that are interested should attend our GSR meeting on Aug. 8th. Please be prepared with your web design history. The committee will then have a vote.
We encourage all members who would like to attend to do so.

Freddie D
District Chair

GSR meeting - July 11th

2009-07-15T13:01:00.000-07:00

Hello CMAer’s,
I just want to thank everybody that participated in the GSR meeting on Saturday July 11, 2009. We covered a lot of ground and hear are the key points from the meeting.

Elections were held and our new chairperson is Freddie D. Our new treasurer is Eddie S. Congratulation’s guys! Donald L. was appointed co-chair until the next district meeting on Aug. 8, 2009. At that time the district will have a vote for this position.

The bylaws have been amended and the district is now in compliance with the state of California for corporation status. GSR’s have an opportunity to review the changes and report to the district on Aug. 8, 2009 if they notice any typos or errors to the amendment. A vote will take place at the district meeting on Sept. 12, 2009 in order to accept the changes.
Tim P., our information & outreach chair, is in search of recruits to help him on this committee. This committee helps to spread the word of CMA to our community. Currently he is working on getting the word out for the new helpline. Be of service to your district. This would be a great opportunity.

Ari U., our registration/directory chair, will be updating the directory online at our website (CMAINLA.COM) within the week and on July 31st he will be printing the newest version of the directory. That being said, if anyone knows of any meeting changes (I.E., meetings going dark, new meetings, location changes, etc.) please let him know by contacting him or leaving an e-mail on the website.

Bob P., our events chair, will be working on a few upcoming events with Sal. There will be a dance in Aug. and there will be a celebration of 15 years of CMA coming up by the end of Sept. or early Oct. The anniversary event will be set up conference style. It will be a day of speakers, possible workshops, a dinner or barbecue, and a dance. We will have more details by the next district meeting. If anyone is interested in being a part of the planning process, please contact Bob P. or Sal (an e-mail can be left on the district website) to be a part of this committee.

The comedy show fundraiser was a huge success. This was the highest grossing fundraiser as of late. Good work to all that participated in making this a success. A special thanks to Sal for coming up with the concept.

An H&I fundraiser is coming up in the form of a pool party on Sunday July 26, 2009 from 12pm – 4pm at Russell Y’s house. The address is 7013 Aldea Ave. Lake Balboa Ca. 91406.

CMA history was made on Thursday July 10, 2009 when we had our first H&I panel at jail.
Victor D. &; Donald L., our co-chairs for H & I, are looking for speakers for the panels that are going to the jails. They would like to get clearance for at least 12 people. The requirements are: no felonies, experience speaking on panels, and 5 years of recovery (the five year requirement is negotiable if a person shows willingness and experience in speaking on panels). If you are interested please attend the next H & I meeting on Aug. 8, 2009 1PM at the West Hollywood D & A center.

Appreciation goes out to Mark M. for the stellar job he does while documenting and providing the minutes of each GSR meeting. You rock!

Meetings that need support are:
Tuesday Relapse Prevention 8:30pm @ Cedars 8730 Alden Dr.
Wednesday Sex & Relationships 8pm @ the AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Wednesday Full Speed Ahead 8pm @ the West Side Alano Club 11530W. Pico Blvd.
Thursday 12 x 12 8:15 pm @ the AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Friday Home Group 10:15pm @ the AT Center 1773 Griffith Park Blvd.
Saturday Crystal Clear 2:30 Weho A & D Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.
Sunday Morning CMA 9:30 am @ 1900 San Fernando Rd.
Sunday Round Robin West 7:00pm Weho A & D Center 626 N. Robertson Blvd.

Being of service,
Freddie

Less is More

2009-06-23T06:41:00.000-07:00

Recently, I completed my second 4th step, but the first one based almost entirely on my behavior in sobriety, and focussed on the area causing me the most emotional discomfort: sex and romance.

The specifics of the relationship that finally provoked me to do this step again are much less important than the theme that emerged as I examined the patterns that it embodied. It was the same overarching character defect that had come to light as my #1 shortcoming when I did my 4th step the first time around: a lack of humility.

This had manifested itself most obviously in the relationships I had with the circle of addicts who I employed and kept off the streets when I was dealing drugs. I couldn’t understand why they all ended up being resentful of me. Working with my sponsor, I recognized that it went much deeper than my enabling of their addictions. I’d taken away their right to make their own mistakes and face the consequences of their own actions. Under the guise of playing Robin Hood, I played God. And just as I had to learn accountability for my own actions the hard way, with a stint in prison, they had to go on their own journeys without my “help”—some into sobriety, some not.

It took me a while to see my lack of humility in this second 4th step. I had to break down my behavior to a few recurring tendencies, for example, making a chemistry more intense in my mind than it was in reality; writing scripts in my head for myself and others to follow (which they never did of course); expending untold energy figuring out what you were thinking instead of just asking you. I began to see that I played God by not allowing God to operate in my relationships. What about trusting if someone likes you on Tuesday, they’ll probably like you on Thursday? What about having faith that perhaps you were having the very relationship you two were meant to have?

As I completed this process, it occurred to me that if I didn’t know myself nearly as well as I thought, that perhaps I might not know others as well as I’d assumed either. I began to question how I approached all sorts of relationships, not just the romantic ones. Why not try to let others reveal themselves to me instead of being so busy forming opinions about them as soon as I can? I began to get comfortable with being in the present instead of projecting into the future, which immediately reduced the expectations that so often created disappointment.

If acting your way into right thinking is an essential tool in early sobriety, step work allows you to start changing your behavior by changing your thinking as well. As I’ve discovered a willingness to approach relationships with greater humility, I’ve already experienced a shift in how these relationships unfold. “I don’t know” has become three of the most powerful words I can use.

M.O.

Resolving Resentments and Facing Fears

2009-06-16T13:48:00.000-07:00

Having at last finished my Fourth Step, resentments have now been front and center in my recovery for months. I have a good relationship with my sponsor who continually challenges me with gentle but firm direction. Because of his patient and thorough approach to the Fourth Step, I finally got a huge amount of relief from working this step. My sponsor's plan for doing Step Four was to do it piecemeal--not all at once. This helped me understand how writing out my resentments as instructed in the Big Book could actually change the way I felt, thought and acted. First, he had me write out columns 1 through 3--that's all. He didn't let me even start Columns 4 and 5.

That bugged me. I wanted to do it all and get it done ASAP. But he made me think it through when writing out each of my resentments so that I slowed down to understand the process better. I was forced to take time to reflect on the first 3 columns over and over. I had to think long and hard about my resentments and not rush. His instructions made me reflect deeply on who I resented, why I resented them and why it really bothered me.

After he reviewed Columns 1-3 with me, he then told me how to write out Columns 4 and 5 paying special attention to my fears. Frankly, I had never understood how my fears had anything to do with my resentments. But my sponsor was right. When I told him what fears I had written down, he didn't let me stop there. He pushed me to look at the core of what my fears were all about. Each step of the process was a revelation that opened my mind to exactly where I had been wrong.

My fears led me to behave in ways that were destructive not just to others, but also to myself. Understanding the connection between the two in a very specific way is profoundly liberating. Going through the process of looking at each resentment and the fears behind them taught me tools that I can use everyday in practical ways.

The game of fear and resentment is a vicious cycle, but it is one that only I can break. Holding onto a resentment never hurts the person we intend it to hurt. It only hurts us and hinders our own progress in life. We end up doing lifelong damage to ourselves more than anyone else.

The process of seeing my part in my own resentments and what my fears behind them are is going to save me from a lifetime of misery, bitterness and suffering. Now I understand the power of the Fourth Step as a way of seeing my own self-destructive behavior and changing it from within.

Jericho W.

LOL 4 A CAUSE

2009-06-16T11:34:00.000-07:00

LOL FOR A CAUSE

A night of Happy, Joyous and Fierce Comedy to benefit LA CMA DISTRICT with some of the funniest people in comedy.

Leslie Jordan

Betsy Salkind, Mary Kennedy, Adam Barnhard Paul Jacek

With Your Hosts: Lotta Slots and Patrick Marks

Friday, June 26th 7 pm PRE SALE TICKETS ONLY

Plummer Park Fiesta Hall

7377 Santa Monica Blvd.

Los Angeles, CA 90046

10.00

You will be ROFLYAO for sure!

Applied Recovery

2009-06-14T18:42:00.000-07:00

Somebody hit my parked car last night without leaving a note. Upon discovering the scratched and dented fender, the first feeling on my mind was anger. Without hesitation, it became the basis for my share at a meeting. The 12-step recovery program gives me a chance to go to a meeting and get out of my head. Left alone with the feeling of anger will surely seed the dreaded mental state of resentment. Trying to find a solution to this undefined problem can be like looking for serenity in an active addict. With that said, the closest model to cope with these life experiences is the recovery program of Crystal Meth Anonymous.

While in recovery, there are a lot of feelings already in my prescription for life. Dealing with feelings of worthlessness, shame, anger, and fear regarding my behavior and wreckage has been paramount to my recovery from crystal meth. It is these same feelings that made my drug use justifiable, in-my-mind, and fueled my fuck-everything-and-run attitude. Before recovery this behavior became my reaction to almost all of my life circumstances even though nothing could be changed. Crossing into recovery, having clearly defined and untangled these feelings about my past behavior, they still remain relevant to my maintenance because I still have the same feelings today. The response to life events can still trigger the same deep feelings from my early addict behavior. Being in recovery gives me the ability to be aware when events trigger my old unjustified feelings.

Calling my sponsor and attending a meeting was the first action in my recovery program following a major trigger such as this hit-and-run. Working through my feelings involves writing them down and carefully looking at them to sort the distortion from the gratitude. There was gratitude in this circumstance because it wasn’t me doing the damage. The car damage was caused through no action of my own. My conscience remains clear today. With that declaration, there was a chance for me to move quickly into forgiveness. Forgiving the person who caused the damage to my car can best be described as forgiving myself during my addict behavior. I forgive them because I need to be forgiven for doing destructive things, in a similar fashion.

Finding forgiveness and gratitude among tough circumstances are examples of applied recovery. Overcoming my addiction remains paramount.

Grgr

District Meeting Report

2009-06-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,
Thank you to everyone who attended the district meeting on saturday. It was a great meeting and with all of the big changes coming up including the changing of the guard in which a new chairperson will step in, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the hard work everyone has done over the last 2 years.

So, on with the show, as they say. The comedy show LOL 4 A Cause, is on track for June 26th at 730pm in Fiesta Hall of Plummer Park. Tickets will be pre-sale only. If you havent gotten tickets yet to sell at your meeting, please call Victor at 323-401-7760 or myself (Dale) at 323-244-8949 and we will make sure that you get some tickets to sell. The show is going to be hot! People will be talking about this one for a long time. With professional comics like Leslie Jordan, Bobby Lee, Adam Barnhardt, Mary Kennedy, Sarah Hyland, and Paul Jacek, it is bound to be a happy, joyous and fierce night of stand up. And, when you add to that lineup, the hosts Lotta Slots (Jeffrey Drew) and Patrick Marks, we are going to have fun.

Also, there is a great event coming up in Orange County called the "Crystal Clean Fest" Saturday June 20th in Costa Mesa at the Community Center at 1845 Park st. The festival goes from 10 am until midnight with marathon meetings till 6, Dinner, a speaker and a dance to follow. the whole thing is only 25 dollars and tickets can be purchased at www.crystalcleanfest.com[

The Hospitals and Institutions meeting is a great way to find out how to be of service to those who cant get to a meeting or better yet, it is a great way for your sponsee to be of service! When they get 6 months, send them down to the West Hollywood Recovery Center on the 2nd Saturday of the month at 1pm to sign up to speak on a panel and then hang out and learn more about the way that this committee works.

We are now weighing the options for a retreat next year and soon we will narrow down the facilities that we are considering for our spiritual outing. Stay tuned.

I will be in touch with updates about ticket sales and any other news coming up in the district.
Just a reminder to all that with the rise of Facebook and other networking sites it is very important that we protect CMA by not mentioning it by name on our personal pages or blogs. We should never connect our face and name with the letters CMA in a public forum. For instance a photo album should never be titled, "Johns 3rd CMA birthday party" or "Pictures from the CMA fundraiser" Just a reminder that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all of our traditions.
Dale

Shame No More

2009-06-06T07:50:00.000-07:00

I felt so much shame when I first came to CMA. So much shame that it was killing me. Literally. Fueled by my addiction, shame was the negative tape loop going round and round in my head, requiring ever larger amounts of speed to quiet.

I was ashamed of being a drug addict. Especially a meth addict. (Coke was so much more glamorous.) I was especially ashamed that I was an IV user. Good little boys don't shoot up. I was ashamed to have contracted HIV; I was high when it happened. I had withdrawn from my family and friends during my addiction, and caused them no account of pain and worry. I was in debt. Bankrupt. But too high to even show up for the court proceedings that would allow me to start fresh. I was ashamed that I'd let clients down, disappearing for months, doing questionable work, and just being unprofessional. And I relapsed. Repeatedly. My last run began while I was the secretary of not one but two CMA meetings. I just stopped showing up for my commitments.

My addiction can help explain all of these shameful actions, but it can't excuse them. So how can I heal? How can I feel worthy? The 12 steps and a good therapist have taught me that I must first and foremost forgive myself and then strive to earn forgiveness from those I have harmed. I will always have HIV and it will, to some extent be part of me for the rest of my life. I can best deal with that reality by leading a healthy lifestyle and remaining sober. I must be honest and open and reveal my deepest secrets to remain free of self-hatred. And most importantly, I must seek to maintain a spiritual connection, a faith that I am loved and worthy of being loved.

By surrendering completely, practicing acceptance and gratitude in everything I do, I will live each sober day in the hope of making the world a slightly better place for me and every being I encounter (that’s a nod to my priceless dog.)

So now when those shameful feelings come and I feel that tightening in my heart, and the voice in my head wants me to believe that I am damaged goods, that I am the bad things I have done...I simply take a deep breath and repeat to myself: "You have a disease, Richard. You did the best you could. I love you and I forgive you."

Richard H.

Something to Do

2009-06-04T12:14:00.000-07:00

This is not an official endorsement of anything, neither is it a CMA function.

However, if you want a safe place to socialize with other sober people, Sobar, at Here Lounge, on the 1st Sunday of the month, is a fun place to go.

1-4 pm, and the proceeds benefit recovery homes in the LA area.

District Meeting

2009-06-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,
Just a quick reminder that our monthly meeting will be this Saturday June 6th at 10 am. For various reasons we decided to have the meeting a week earlier than usual and so I hope that it is not too much of a disruption and all of you can be there. As usual it will be at 10 am with a new GSR orientation at 9:30 for new GSR's. We are in Art Room 2 again which is in the main building closest to Santa Monica Blvd.
We will have tickets available to take back to your meetings for the Benefit Comedy Show coming up on June 26th. LOL 4 A CAUSE, will be featuring Leslie Jordan (Will and Grace), Bobby Lee (Mad TV), Adam Barnhardt (Comedy Store) Sarah Hyland, Mary Kennedy and Paul Jacek (Conan O'Brien) (Comedy Store)
These tickets are a recessionary 10.00 so they will go fast.
See you at the meeting Saturday.
Dale G.

The Value of Using Dreams

2009-05-24T22:54:00.000-07:00

Using dreams. We almost all have them, and they freak most of us out. It’s very easy to take them personally, as if they’re some kind of referendum on the quality of our sobriety. Does having one mean we want to use? That we’re not working a “good” program?

Personally, the worst part of my using dreams is the sense I have in them that I’ve been secretly using for months or even the entire length of my supposed sobriety. The lying makes me feel terrible, and at the same time, appeals to the part of me that wants to believe that this isn’t a progressive disease. Maybe, I think to myself in the dream, I’m not an addict at all, because, evidently, I can hide it even from people in the program. But if this is true, I know I will lose the friendships I have made in recovery. The despair at the thought is palpable, and I struggle awake to escape it.

I’ve come to recognize that using dreams are a form of a “safe” slip. We can learn the lessons of a relapse without actually doing the homework. You get to see what it would feel like if you went out there again, and 99.99% of the time, if feels dreadful. Do you ever hear anyone say “I had the best using dream last night?” Do you ever want to get back to the same dream when you fall back to sleep?

Just because I almost never feel a craving anymore doesn’t mean that my disease isn’t doing pushups in that coffin I keep it in. When the night of my subconscious falls, the casket lid goes up. My dream state is the perfect place for my addictive beast to tear around and try to do as much damage as it can, but I must remember that not one actual line is snorted, or pipeful inhaled. And comes the dawn, the vampire is spent, but I’m still clean.

A using dream doesn’t mean you want to use. They may, however, serve as a safety valve for your disease. They are scary, but they can also be cause for gratitude. I know when I wake up, the relief I feel tells me that, yes, I really do want to be sober. This is always a good thing to be reminded of, however disorienting and unpleasant the actual reminder.

Mark O.

Party at the "G's"

2009-05-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

Hi-

Terry is graduating with his Masters’ on June 12th.

I’m throwing an Open House Party for him on Saturday, June 13th, from NOON to 4PM.

1348 S. Longwood Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90019

Please stop and say “Hi” and have a bite to eat. I’m sure he would love to see you after being completely preoccupied with studying these past several months.

You’re welcome to bring guests- let me know if you can attend and celebrate this day with us.

Best- Will

New Date for Meeting

2009-05-21T10:02:00.000-07:00

Well it seems that there are more reasons to change next month's district meeting date. We are considering moving the meeting up one week to June 6th. If you have any feedback about that let me know. I think it will make it easier for everyone, including myself (I graduate from college on the 13th) If there are no big objections, I will secure the meeting room for June 6th, the regular time 10am.

In other news, Leslie Jordan has agreed to be in the comedy show June 26th. Very exciting. We will have tickets to sell before the 1st of June so keep an eye out.

Dale

District Meeting Report

2009-05-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

Hello everyone,

Thank you to everyone who came to the meeting this saturday. We are working behind the scenes to help this fellowship grow and grow and we are glad that you are part of that effort. As a recap, here are some of the things that we discussed at the last meeting.

H&I continues to move forward and recently has taken a great leap forward. We are now poised to start 2 panels in county jail. These panels will need panel leaders with the highest dedication and committment. Donald, Mark and Victor are looking for panel leaders and as always are looking for great speakers for all of the H&I panels.

If your meeting does not have an H&I liaison please make a weekly appeal for members to attend the once a month Hospitals and Institution meeting where they can sign up to speak on a panel and learn more about being of service. This June, the meeting will be at Plummer park on June 13th at 1pm. It is normally at the West Hollywood Drug and Alcohol center but it will be at Plummer park on June 13th because of the Parade and Festival in West Hollywood on that weekend.

Speaking of being of service, the Information and Outreach committee is looking for people who would like to help out on this really important committee. They are in charge of spreading the word about CMA to the world. Right now we are getting the word out about the new CMA Helpline so that those in need of a meeting will know where to call if ever they are ready to seek help. We have gotten ad space in the LA Weekly and Frontiers and we are planning other ways to get the information cards about the helpline into hospitals, doctors offices, social service offices etc.

On friday, May 29th at 2pm we are planning a distribution event during the day to do just that. We will split up into groups and head out to places where they can put the information cards out for those who might need them. Let your group know that we will meet in the parking lot nearest Santa Monica Blvd in Plummer Park at 2pm. You may even pass a sign up sheet around to get names and phone numbers and then email them either to me or Tim at timpermanent@gmail.comso that we can call them and confirm.

Likewise we need volunteers to do research to find resource guides and websites that will publish our helpline number for addicts looking for help. We also need volunteers who would be willing to be on call to work a CMA booth at street festivals and health fairs.

We also have a commitment open for someone to give CMA information to recently paroled inmates in the san fernando valley.

We are now in the process of checking out retreat locations for a possible retreat next year. We received some great suggestions so keep them coming so that we can find the best retreat location possible.

The Comedy Show is on track for June 26th at 7pm. Tickets will go on sale for 10.00 and will be pre sold for the event at Fiesta Hall in Plummer Park. We have some amazing comedy talent lined up already and we will have flyers and tickets for sale very soon.

Thats all for now. More to come.

Thank you all for your service.

Dale G
Chair of the Greater Los Angeles District Committee

Moments of Clarity

2009-05-06T15:37:00.000-07:00

I pose this as a question because my disease seems to pose everything as a question, searching for answers through the fog of meth. Am I done? Can I go one more round? How much will I do? Why shouldn't I? Who was really hurt? And then there were all the questions posed around trying to juggle drug use with a lucrative prostitution "career," particularly the requirement that I always get high for free. I used to be proud that I never paid for it, but I did pay, with sex and false friendships and loyalties. What I traded was much more valuable than money.

Coming to a L.A. as an 18-year old boy with no family, just a knapsack and years of molestation for baggage, I only knew how to think of myself. It was a matter of survival. Years later, clarity finally posed its first questions, as my body and my soul ached from the spiritual and physical insanity of prostitution. Other doubts starting crowding in when I started to become accountable for other living beings-a lover, a pet. I realized my actions had consequences beyond myself.

Eventually I found CMA, and gradually I've started disposing of the old survival tools and replacing them with the tools needed to stay sober. I cancelled the ads I used to make a living that proved incompatible, for me, with staying clean. I found a sponsor. I set guidelines with my friends and partners to reduce the possibility of using. It took several months of putting together a few days or weeks at a time, then relapsing, but I each time dusted myself off and kept coming back.

I have just received my 30-day chip. I needed that chip! But I have also learned not to be overconfident. I must remain vigilant about the possibility of relapse, but also aware living one day at a time is my best defense. I'm making new, healthy choices now. I've joined a. softball team, work out with new friends within CMA and other 12-step programs. We fellowship and share our experience, strength and hope. They love me as I am--with my pants up. And to that I give a huge thumbs up!

Tony F.

District Meeting Reminder

2009-05-03T21:51:00.000-07:00

This Saturday, May 9th will be the next district meeting of the Greater Los Angeles District of CMA. I cant wait to see all of you and give you updates about what is happening in our district and around the world. As usual it is at Plummer Park, Art Room 2. Be there by 10 for the general meeting and come by 930 if you would like to attend the New GSR Orientation. Looking forward to seeing you all there. I will send along the Minutes from our last meeting and the Agenda for this meeting during the week.

Dale G.
Chairperson of the LA District

Si Se Puede (English Translation Below)

2009-04-28T06:34:00.000-07:00

Estoy trabajando en mi cuarto paso y no tengo ningún deseo de usar crystal. El crystal transformó mi vida y ahora que lo he dejado me siento liberado, tranquilo y relajado. Estoy en proceso de conocerme a mi mismo y de disfrutar más de la vida sin tener que usar crystal.

Al principio, cuando empecé a usar todo era de color de rosa, pero más adelante mi mundo se hizo más y más pequeño, y me sentí atrapado en un círculo vicioso del que no podía salir. Pero existe una solución, ésta es pensar en un día a la vez y así, sí se puede. Hoy no voy a usar drogas. Fácil no es, pero de que se puede, sí se puede.

Si quieren dejar las drogas de una vez por todas, pidan ayuda. No estamos solos, y ahora sé que puedo pedir ayuda, ya sea a mi padrino o a todos los amigos, que gracias a Dios y al programa, he conocido.

Deseo que esto que he compartido con ustedes les ayude en su jornada y que aprendan algo de mi experiencia.

Ernesto

I am working on my fourth step and I have no desire to use Meth. This drug changed my life, but right now, I feel relaxed, serene and free. I am in the process of knowing myself, and enjoying life without using drugs.

When I started using everything was fun, but later on my world shrunk and I got caught in a vicious circle with no way out. But there is a solution, and that is taking things one day at a time. This way I can beat my addiction. Today, I will not use Meth. It is not easy, but it is achievable. It really is.

If you want to stop using drugs for once and for all, ask for help. We are not alone. Today I know that I can ask for help to my sponsor or any of my friends, that thanks to my higher power and the program, I have met along the way.

I wish that my experience helps you on your journey and brings you hope.

Ernesto